nostalgia
walking on campus last night (i was there to take a photo for this month’s personal blog post), i saw a banner hanging from chhs that said class of 2021. that made me feel so old, yet made me miss 2011. the feeling that came over me during my brief time on campus last night has me thinking maybe charlotte is more of a home to me than i give it credit for.
nostalgia is unfair, sometimes.
-ratha, 11:11pm, 8.29.17
today i paid my orthodontist a visit to get my retainer fixed. i wear retainers 24/7 with the exception of when i’m eating because i have this fear of my teeth shifting back to what they were in 2004. you have bad teeth, and then you have horrible teeth like mine. i had a tooth behind a tooth and they weren’t aligned at the same height. teeth going all different types of directions lol.
as Dr. Meyer is looking at my folder, he tells me this may will be 10 years out of braces for me. wow. a decade. a whole decade. i remember getting them off before my 8th grade graduation, hard to believe it’s been 10 years since then. we get to talking and he mentions he’s going to punta cana next week. while he’s taking impressions of my teeth, Dr. Meyer says he’ll work for a few more years before he retires. it then occurred to me how everyone living is living this day/stage of their lives for the first time. my first march 2nd 2017 was everyone else’s first as well, which further confirms my belief that no one really knows what they’re doing. you live and learn. in that order. thank god i’m still living, because i’m still learning.
-ratha, 11:25pm, 3.2.17
i wish we had more time together. i dont know what brought me to your page tonight, but im here every couple of months or so. between your random snaps and the occasional ig tag, i cant help but to think you think of me when things arent going right with this guy who you tell twitter is the love of your life. lol. i gotta laugh it off. laughing has been my favorite thing to do lately. eating pizza after sex was top 5 moments of 2016 for me, i want you to know that. you got the juice girl, you aint have to do it like that. let me log off before i hit you with an address, smh.
-ratha, 2:06am, 2.27.17
i’ve been working on my memory lately. i’m naturally a long-term memory guy by default. these exercises have been helping with my short-term memory, so not only am i remembering things that recently happened, but i’m remembering details of things that happened two years before, even three years before. i’m no longer clouded by nostalgia in certain situations involving certain people and it feels good, you know? i can’t be focused on the wrong things. i cant be tricking myself into closure without clarity.
-ratha, 2:00pm, 2.21.17