uncc
walking on campus last night (i was there to take a photo for this month’s personal blog post), i saw a banner hanging from chhs that said class of 2021. that made me feel so old, yet made me miss 2011. the feeling that came over me during my brief time on campus last night has me thinking maybe charlotte is more of a home to me than i give it credit for.
nostalgia is unfair, sometimes.
-ratha, 11:11pm, 8.29.17
yesterday was mother’s day 2017. i hit my mom and
told her happy mother’s day and that i loved her before work. i was supposed to
work a double, but ended working 10.91 hours. i got off, tired as hell, and
came home. when i came home, money was at the future concert and there was a
white challenger parked on our lawn. i got something to drink and sat down. my
legs were killing me, but my mind wasn’t tired at all.
about an hour later, obed hits me and tells me he’s heading over. i haven’t seen that bwoy obeezy since last summer when we went bowling with maressa and gigi before he left for columbia in nyc. we stayed up until about 3 am talking about all the good times we’ve had and all the good times we’re looking forward to having later in life. those topics included panama, college, and women, but mostly we spoke on women. i told him my current situation and he offered his advice by saying ‘if the vibes are strong, go for it.’ my guy for real. we couldn’t hang because i had the chiropractor and work earlier this morning, but i told him i would make a trip to nyc before summer’s over and that we would fuck the city up. we dapped, then he drove off in his ford wearing athletic shorts and dress shoes.
that bwoy obeezy.
-ratha, 2:37pm, 5.15.17
mayne, i’m running off a couple hours of sleep,
but last night was good for my soul.
to start off, we celebrated my bro sebastian’s graduation. 6 years family. six. whole. years. proud of him, he persevered and got that degree. i remember struggling in bio with him and king back-back in 2013. he had his reception at maggiano’s at southpark. close family, good friends, and tremendous italian food. at one point, we were doing toasts, starting with his mother. she said that sebastian graduating was like her graduating, which made me tear up a bit. i was so happy for her, and for him of course. i choked up a bit doing my toast, but i wished him more success, more life, and more blessings. i even drank champagne while doing so, which is something i never do.
i couldn’t help but to think how it would’ve played out for me had i did things the right way. what would my dad say? how would my mom feel? what would i do? my mind drifted off, fantasizing about hypothetical situations before the waitress came thru with the cheesecake. when i snapped back into it, i looked around the room and everyone seemed so joyous and delighted. i was just happy to be surrounded by it, hoping to contribute anyway i could.
fast forward to later that night around 10:30pm. sebastian texts me to see if i was coming thru to his get-together at his place. i was with shorty and promised her we were only staying for 20 minutes. a$ rolled with us to his joint. we played 3 games of pong and left after losing 5 dollars on the last one. i don’t like social gatherings in general, but i found myself enjoying the fact i was with someone in public again. she stayed off to the side while we played pong, but every so often i’d walk over to be near her because i liked having her close. i’d lean back on her and she’d kiss my shoulder. lmao, i know, it sounds corny and what not, but when you develop emotions for someone, your perspective changes on a few things, which leads your actions to follow suit.
after ‘20 minutes’ we headed home. a$ went to bed, and shorty and i stayed up. we were hungry but too lazy to go out so we warmed up pizza rolls around 3am. she joined me in the kitchen wearing the top of my pajama set my mom bought for me. no shirt, no bra, just the pajama top and her jeans. we’re comfortable around each other, i like that about us. it brings out a deeper intimacy, which in turn, leads to a stronger connection. we ended up falling asleep around 5am or so. it was her first time spending the night at my place.
if this has been any prequel to my life in the future, i’m looking forward to what’s written in the scipt for me.
-ratha, 9:32am, 5.14.17
