apex

advice from mr. mike, 7.28.17

after a week of unfortunate events at work, my patience was running wire thin tonight. albeit rare i’m mad, it happens. at the end of the night, a gentleman who paid for everyone’s meal in his party comes up to me and introduces himself as mike. he’s wearing a black polo and he’s been very receptive to me all night. smiling, saying thank you, just making me feel comfortable when in reality that was my job. i didn’t think anybody but coworkers could tell i was upset, but maybe mr. mike could see through my courteous smile and cordial welcomes. he says he works on air conditioning, and that with his clients, everybody is always happy when he leaves. he joked they’re happy for obvious reasons, because they have ac.  we shared a laugh about it and he went on to say with serving, it is different. not many people are appreciative of servers because people think they are entitled to service and look at themselves as a step above servers. he said he wanted to let me know that he appreciates everything we do. one thing he told me as we were shaking hands (he said it three times) was to never let anybody bring me down. mr. mike told me to always remember that.

with the way the night was going, that was exactly what i needed to hear. time seemed to unpause itself in that moment and everything went back to normal. suddenly i felt bad for feeling bad the whole night. i congratulated him on his daughter getting married and said i’d hope to see him again. as i walked back, i noticed he left a $195.00 tip. it was a very nice gesture from a very kind man (which i was very grateful for), but i couldn’t help but to think about his tip on not letting anybody bring me down and how priceless that was.

that’ll be something i’ll remember for a long, long time.

-ratha, 10:59pm, 7.28.17

Source: http://www.rdl4ever.tumblr.com

no more kid menus, 7.26.17

there were two boys aged 7 or 8 that i served tonight. one ordered a filet mignon and the other a cheese burger. both medium rare. is it me or are they on some ultra-grown shit? those boys are way ahead of the game. shoutout to them, even though i still get my burgers medium-well.

guess i’ll never grow up. 

-ratha, 7:48pm, 7.26.17

Source: http://www.rdl4ever.tumblr.com

missing again, 5.8.17

i didn’t realize how much i missed doing nothing with someone. thank you for that. every once in a while, you come across someone who has the ability to alleviate your stresses and overthinking while you get to know them, so all you have to do is be yourself while they reveal to you who they are. last night was wonderful. lately i keep being reminded of the nature of life and change and how it all intertwines to create the reality we perceive. reality has been great. change has been good to me. it’s nice to be able to feel more than you think as a result your thinking has lead your logic to come to the conclusion this is the right thing to do.


i’m looking forward to where life and change takes us.

-ratha, 9:46am, 5.8.17

Source: http://www.rdl4ever.tumblr.com

wral tragedies, 5.3.17

so the story goes, a raleigh teen got into an accident last month, and ran away from the scene. alcohol was found in her car, but her body wasn’t found until 36 hours later. it was found out her older brother bought her alcohol. today, i saw an article of how he died of wounds suffered from trying to take his life. fuck man, that’s so sad. love to everybody, we’re here in the now together like erica said.


-ratha, 11:17am, 5.3.17

Source: http://www.rdl4ever.tumblr.com

moving in reverse, 4.30.17

i woke up this morning to a call from a friend who said she was in town for a bar crawl last night. her, my roommate, and i go out to eat at golden taipei. we walk in and there’s a buffet set up, but we request menus. i order general tsos chicken and they order some variant of western chinese chicken as well. we get our food and begin talking. we all met at unc charlotte, but she is from where i’m from, the triangle. she moved back there after graduation and she mentioned how she got hired at a store in beaver creek. beaver creek is a shopping center, where i used to go frequently as a teenager way back when. for some odd reason, hearing that made me happy. of course i was happy for her to get another job, but i was simply happy hearing beaver creek.


when i was home last weekend for my birthday, i got to talking to my brother meezy, and he mentions this program that would be good for me back home. it really has me thinking whether i should move back or not. it’s tempting. i love apex like no other, but lately it feels as if things in charlotte have started shaping up the way i’ve been wanting them to. i don’t know whether i’ve been dying to experience something similar to what i’ve had before, or something new, but it’s something about apex, and definitely something about the way things are falling into place now. 


-ratha, 12:23pm, 4.30.17

Source: http://www.rdl4ever.tumblr.com

feeling it, 4.28.17

it’s true when they say you won’t feel it fully until the next morning. today i woke up to an even more discomforting pain stemming from my right shoulder all the way up my neck to my head. i had to get up to tow my car back home. it was a sunny friday morning, the complete opposite of yesterday’s weather. as my car was being towed, i couldn’t help but to think how ironic it was that i was saying i didn’t want to let go of the camborghini a few days ago. it hurt to see it on the tow truck. i’m still trying to piece things together as to why life happens the way it does.


-ratha, 2:32pm, 4.28.17

Source: http://www.rdl4ever.tumblr.com

t-bone appreciation, 4.27.17

today as i’m driving to reedy creek to play fetch with bagel, someone fails to yield, pulls out in front of me and i t-bone him. it happened so quick. when i approached his vehicle, his eyes were closed and he seemed sedated. he never got out the car and he drove off when i turned around to go back to my car. it was just bagel, the camborghini, and i underneath a grey april sky, with showers joining us shortly thereafter. 


i couldn’t help but to think it could’ve been worse.

-ratha, 10:31pm, 4.27.17

Source: http://www.rdl4ever.tumblr.com

nice novels, 4.24.17

on my lunch shift at work today, i get to conversing with my manager and i reveal to him i aim to be a writer. to be nice, he tells me if he ever sees a book with my name on it, he will buy it and read it. 


a book. with my name on it. that i wrote. being purchased and read. 

what a thought. 


-ratha, 3:31pm, 4.24.17

Source: http://www.rdl4ever.tumblr.com

2008 in 2017, 4.23.17

this morning my brother walked into the bonus room where the guest bed is located and began playing video games. it was about 8:30am or so, and i couldn’t sleep with all the artificial gun and space ship sounds so i went to sleep in his bed. once i wake up, i’m never able to return to the quality of sleep i awoke from. about an hour later i wake up to two missed calls and a text from meezy saying we balling at 10:30am. i immediately call my brother, even though he’s in the other room, and tell him we balling. 


we get out to the courts and it’s drizzling. we end up playing two games, 5 on 5, to 16. by the time the second game concluded, it was raining steadily. i was soaked, but it was fun. i haven’t played basketball in almost 10 months. crazy how i used to play ball every day religiously. i miss that. i miss what home brings out of me when i’m there. it was almost like 2008 again. 


seriously, i haven’t had that much fun in a while. 


-ratha, 7:47pm, 4.23.17

Source: http://www.rdl4ever.tumblr.com

snapchat assumptions, 4.22.17

yo a group of people just pulled up to char-grill and are eating at the tables adjacent to my friends and i. i’m standing up trying to hear every word of this roast session my drunk friends are having because it’s chilly for an april night and one of the guys from the adjacent tables is snapchatting the girl sitting across from him who is so gone. now he’s sending it to hella people!! hold up, picture evidence coming immediately. smh!

-ratha, 10:59pm, 4.22.17

Source: http://www.rdl4ever.tumblr.com

perks of drinking by the drinking machine, 4.19.17

tonight at work, i was sipping my concoction of sprite and fruit punch while i over heard a tidbit from a conversation going on between two of my coworkers a few feet away. they were talking about molly and sex and how one of them does molly at raves. i haven’t done molly, but i’ve had sex, although i haven’t ever had sex with a girl named molly, so i finished my drink and walked away thinking of how good it feels to be a wallflower some times. i grow from other’s experiences in hopes they can learn from mine. quiet and observant, but never judgmental. after all, we’re all in search for infinity. 


-ratha, 1:38am, 4.19.17

Source: http://www.rdl4ever.tumblr.com

getting out on my own, 3.4.17

i can’t begin to tell you how much this place means to me. who knew 8 years could shape who you are for the rest of your life? i try to stay away because It feels like i’m living in the past, but i always find myself here missing things i’ll never get back. i’m reminded of things and how they’re over frequently, but it’s extremely humbling here for some reason. i miss the way things were, but some nights it’s like i miss who i used to be. becoming myself isnt what i thought it’d be, probably because i’m not who i wanted to be.

i needed to realize this.

-ratha, 11:23am, 3.4.17

Source: http://www.rdl4ever.tumblr.com

learning for the first time, 3.2.17

today i paid my orthodontist a visit to get my retainer fixed. i wear retainers 24/7 with the exception of when i’m eating because i have this fear of my teeth shifting back to what they were in 2004. you have bad teeth, and then you have horrible teeth like mine. i had a tooth behind a tooth and they weren’t aligned at the same height. teeth going all different types of directions lol.

as Dr. Meyer is looking at my folder, he tells me this may will be 10 years out of braces for me. wow. a decade. a whole decade. i remember getting them off before my 8th grade graduation, hard to believe it’s been 10 years since then. we get to talking and he mentions he’s going to punta cana next week. while he’s taking impressions of my teeth, Dr. Meyer says he’ll work for a few more years before he retires. it then occurred to me how everyone living is living this day/stage of their lives for the first time. my first march 2nd 2017 was everyone else’s first as well, which further confirms my belief that no one really knows what they’re doing. you live and learn. in that order. thank god i’m still living, because i’m still learning.

-ratha, 11:25pm, 3.2.17

Source: http://www.rdl4ever.tumblr.com