low air, 11.28.23

while driving to work on i93, a guy with a nice army green tacoma pulls up next to me. we are going 50mph down the freeway in between traffic. at first, he puts his thumb up when we catch eye contact. i thought he was showing me his approval of my car, since 4x4 toyota’s have enthusiasts. then he motions to put my window down. i put my window down and he says my back tires have low air in them. i thanked him and put the window up. that was so kind of him to notice, then go out of the way to tell me on the freeway. after work, i filled up the back driver’s side tire. the air pressure was 16, smh. while i was filling up air for that tire, i thought i might as well fill up the rest of the tires. all my other tires were 20 psi air pressure! once they were filled up to 32 psi and i drove off, the ride felt a lot firmer, a lot more comfortable. my mpg has been suffering for who knows how long, but thanks to a stranger from new hampshire, i’ll be good to go for the winter.

now time to do the timing belt, water pump, lower ball joints, and serpentine belt.

-ratha, 4:25pm, 11.28.23

this was your life, 11.27.23

i was out of the way in burlington today trying to get quotes for a timing belt/water pump replacement for the sequoia. the shop told me they only work on cars 2008 or newer. i had never heard of that before, but at least now i know. thinking of how heavy the traffic would be going home, i found the nearest planet fitness 1.9 miles away. it was tucked in the very back of an industrial complex. even walking in, everything was so old/worn down besides the cardio section. i had a work out, then as i was leaving, there was a small pamphlet/book on the push bar of the last door. it was titled: this was your life! i had a feeling it was a religious-related, so i took it. as soon as i came home, i began reading it while drinking my protein shake. to sum it up: it’s an illustrated book about a rich guy who dies, goes to judgement day, then God reviews all the times he wasn’t a good man. he was going to get sent to hell, but then he repented. some of the things he was judged on was telling stories (lying), being a peeping tom, betraying people, stealing, going to church and counting down the minutes, etc. it got me to thinking about things going on in my life now. i’m not perfect, but i’m for damn sure a solid individual no matter how they try to paint me in order to justify their actions. i hope when the emotional smoke clears, an egoless version of themselves will shine me in a light of appreciation. coming across that book at a gym i’ve never been to was the sign that i needed to let me know i did what i could. even if i played things perfect, it still would not be enough, though nobody walking on this earth is in the slightest bit perfect. it should be about appreciation, and i’ve been feeling taken for granted and overlooked. it should be you and i versus the problem, not us versus each other. at the end of the day, what did i do? better yet what didn’t i do? a calm conversation could fix a lot of things, but who knows at this point.

balancing mental health, life, and insecurity is hard sometimes, and lord knows these past few weeks have been difficult as ever.

-ratha, 9:49pm, 11.27.23

missing trees, 11.26.23

when i was in charlotte, i used to put up a christmas tree every year for bagel and i, along with wrapping every purchase after black friday. since i moved here, i haven’t even thought about buying a tree. that is, until tonight. the chargers are playing the ravens on sunday night football, which is important because the ravens are e’s favorite team, so there is a a lot of bragging rights that come with tonight’s game. regardless, because the chargers are playing primetime, i went to maya to get some tikka. maya is right of 95 and target is a few miles north on 95. i stopped by target and the holiday section was ran thru. there were no trees, only the display ones. i found one i liked that was 4 feet tall with fake snow and lights. i looked at other locations in the area, and there weren’t any in stock. they definitely have to restock at least once before christmas, right?

at least that’s what i’m thinking, because then i can restart the christmas tree tradition with bagel.

-ratha, 9:42pm, 11.26.23

black saturday, 11.25.23

i went to the burlington mall after the gym today. it was packed. i could barely find parking at nordstrom. i wasn’t looking for anything in particular, just wanted to see if i came across some steals. black friday since 2020 has been ass. all i see is 25%-40% off. 40% is decent, but even that’s rare these days. madewell had 50% off so i copped a flannel. i tried on two and the one with the design i preferred was too sloppy, so i passed on it. it was a boxy fit and didn’t hold its shape very well, which is a shame because the design was fire. walking around, i went into abercrombie. they had the camo jacket i tried on months ago for 25% off. i re-tried on the large to make sure it fit, then i said why not. all in all, i saved 37.5%, which isn’t bad, but isn’t as much as i’d like considering it’s black friday weekend.

all good though because now i have my first two presents to wrap for christmas!

-ratha, 7:15pm, 11.25.23

writing, recording, 11.24.23

since working from home on wednesday, then thanksgiving yesterday, and black friday today, i’ve been writing and recording like a madman. today will be the third consecutive day i’ll be in the studio. i have to build good habits and prepare for releasing music. my voice is a little hoarse, but i think i can manage by doing shorter studio sessions and incorporating hot tea before and after. i’ve always been insecure about my music, and i still am, but these days i’m showing a bit more excitement than i am self-doubt.

i guess that’s what they call confidence and i guess that comes with the territory when you feel stuck in a career where you know you’re settling.

-ratha, 9:14pm 11.24.23

thanksgiving ‘23, 11.23.23

thanksgiving this year falls on the 23rd of november, which is pretty cool. i started the day off letting bagel out early in the morning. then i fell asleep until around 12:00pm. once, i turned on the tv for some football, i came across the national dog show. i always forget it’s on until i come across it flipping channels. it happens every year. bagel and i watched the national dog show, flipping in between the green bay and detroit game. the dog show had a guy doing analysis like it was sports, which i haven’t seen, which was entertaining. once the show concluded, i took bagel on a walk. we got back and there’s still some daylight left. i might slide through to the car wash, but then again, there’s another game at 4:30pm. plus, i have to go to my auntie’s house to grab a plate and see the family.

another year gone by, and no matter how bad these days can be, it’s another year to be thankful.

-ratha, 3:52pm, 11.23.23

karma, 11.22.23

for whatever reason, my insurance didn’t cover all of my dental cleaning. i went to pay my dues today and the office was closed. i walked in, the lights were off, and the door was locked. i went down the hallway to the bathroom, took a piss, and as i was walking out the building, a construction worker held the door open for me. i sat in my car listening to a dateline episode as i browsed for a place to eat. i wanted thai food, and there was a spot 2 miles away. as i pull up, i had never been to this side of andover/north andover before. there was a strip mall behind a gas station with mad asian places. instead of going to the thai spot i originally came for, i called an audible and went to a chinese fusion joint called karma. i like the ambiance the dining room had, very dimly lit and a lot of booths. i ordred a mocktail, mongolian beef with jasmine rice, and crab rangoons for an appetizer. everything was incredible. the mocktail had good flavor, but it wasn’t carbonated enough for me. the mongolian beef was fire, though they could’ve had more beef to the plate. the crab rangoons were stellar, actually. they fried it and breaded them perfectly because sometimes at other places, the crab rangoons will cut your mouth open, but these didn’t. they had a few other plates (and mocktails) i wanted to try, but i’ll save those for next time.

maybe boston doesn’t have bad food after all, i just haven’t explored enough.

-ratha, 4:17pm, 11.22.23

in the lab straight, 11.21.23

i got to work at 9am, then headed into lab. i didn’t leave lab until 3:50pm with the exception to go pee. i got home, just walked and fed bagel, now time to go to the gym. i’m exhausted but turning discipline into a habit is worth more than what rest would be right now.

-ratha, 7:12pm, 11.21.23

18 minutes out the way, 11.20.23

i just got home from picking my parents up from the airport. i thought they were terminal e, when in reality it was terminal c. i tried to loop around the airport but ended up exiting. when i got through the tunnels, the 93 was backed up, so i figured i could take 90 and turn around. the only thing was they ended up shutting all lanes except one and it was a few miles before i could turn around. all in all, it took me 18 minutes to go from terminal e to terminal c.

even without traffic, navigating boston roads is a headache smh.

-ratha, 1:23am, 11.20.23

missed by a few hours, 11.19.23

as ironic as it is, chaz was in massachusetts tonight. they sent him on a delivery up here at one of the coca-cola plants. he said he was going to north hampton. when i googled it, the first one that popped up was in new hampshire, 30 minutes away. as the time got closer, it was actually the north hampton in western mass. we had to cancel plans because by the time he would get here, it would be too late for me to drive to him, then back to pick my parents up at the airport. i saw him post a story of springfield, massachusetts and i thought how unreal it seemed lol.

though we couldn’t link up today, we’ll be linking before the end of the year.

-ratha, 10:02pm, 11.19.23