my lil’ buzzin texted me. she asked where i was because my mom’s out in california. i told her i’m going this summer. i haven’t been since i graduated high school. that’s summer of 2011, 7 years ago. by the time i went back, i always told myself i’d have something to call my own. shit i don’t even have my degree, much less any success doing music, writing, or photography. we caught each other up a little on our lives. she told me all i need is a big break. i agreed, i think that’ll be my goal this year, is to get one big break in any realm of my creative expression.
later in the night, i was talking music and aspirations with my girl. she told me if i would’ve dedicated myself at 18, i’d be living the life i dreamed of by now. although that puts my insecurities and regrets at the forefront, it’s the truth and the truth is accurate. that motivated me.
ironic how getting older sometimes means getting further away from your dreams.
it’s time to change that.
-ratha, 5:21pm, 1.18.18