walks to the park, 8.15.25

one thing i hate about work is that things switch up damn near every day. i was talking to a guy that is a higher position than me. he said he’s worked at start-ups and now big pharma with our company, but he says a lot of the work here feels like a start-up. it’s always go, go, go. to me, that’s the opposite of everything i’ve heard about big pharma. working 10-12 hour days before the merger was expected, but everyone said once we got acquired that the job would be easier because big pharma has the resources to assist in whatever we need. that was the exact opposite. today, i took a break from work to go scroll on tiktok at a nearby park. i brought my coconut water and it was a well-needed break. i was actually kind of chilly in the shade, which means that fall is right around the corner. shit, the pace at which life moves these days, everything is around the corner. which means no longer working at this job will be, too.

i hate to rush life, but i can’t wait to be over this.

-ratha, 2:34pm, 8.15.25

rdl365 re-aesthetic, 8.14.25

i spent the better part of the last 2 months redoing the aesthetic with pictures for almost all 600 thoughts for the rdl365 page, but since i’ve been having luck with the blackout aesthetic, i’m going to redo the aesthetic for all the previous writings again. it’s a tall task, but i think i can get it done by october if i really lock in. if i see progress, i gotta roll with the momentum, right?

here’s to getting things right and hoping the third time really is a charm.

-ratha, 10:02pm, 8.14.25

beyond burnt, 8.13.25

it’s my first day back at work and i’m already burnt out. i don’t know how much longer i can keep doing this, smh.

-ratha, 4:32pm, 8.13.25

up late in pasadena, 8.12.15

i’m up late in my hotel room in pasadena packing for my flight tomorrow with dateline on tv. the episode is about a woman from pasadena who was murdered in los angeles county.

i’m finna get up on outta here lol.

-ratha, 12:03am, 8.12.25

touching pacific ocean, 8.11.25

i pulled up to santa monica today. i walked to get bagel some treats, then i shopped around. i tried on some shorts at zara but they weren’t hitting, so i had to pass. then i went to nike and they had the pink lebron 20’s. i wanted to cop so bad but i just don’t have space in my luggage so again, i had to pass. they had a run club meet so i was walking in the middle of them (or shall i say they were running around me) by the ocean. i noticed two houses that me and bhe saw in 2011. they still looked the same. even the cannon was still there that we took pics next to. i walked to the beach as the sun was setting. i talked to God. i thanked him, then i talked to him. i told him how thankful i was to be back here. i was overcome with emotions, but i tried to explain myself the best i could. when our conversation was finished, i walked to the water to put my feet in. the ocean was frigid lmao. that caught me off guard for sure. i stared into the distance as the sun was setting behind a hazy polluted back drop. the pictures don’t do it justice, but life felt like it should have in that moment. i haven’t experienced that in so long i’m beginning to think it was the first time. i walked the pier, stood for a magic show, then found myself at a table next to a fire outside in the middle of santa monica. i ordered a mocktail, a crab cake, mac n cheese, and a 12oz wagyu steak. dinner tonight was fantastic. after the check, i got to talking to my waiter. his name is sean. i asked if he likes living here, and he said he loves it but it’s expensive. he said he grew up in sherman oaks. i told him i’m thinking of relocating here. he asked where i was from and i said i live in boston. apparently one of his friends used to live in the greater boston area but moved out here as well. when he brought my check, he told me to have a good evening and that he’d see me next when i moved out here.

i drove home thinking about what a life out here would be like for me.

-ratha, 10:24pm, 8.11.25

a sunday in socal, 8.10.25

on the search for an authentic freddie freeman, i went to the dodger clubhouse at the shops at montebello. when i’m alone in public, i like to put on headphones and listen to music, beats, or podcasts. i was walking through when a girl stopped me. i turned my music down, but still between active noise cancelling and the white noise of the mall, my hearing was still impaired. she asked me for a hug. i hesitated for a split second because i wasn’t sure if someone was recording a prank or whatever, but i gave her a hug. after we embraced, i asked her if she was okay and she said she was lol. i hope i didn’t come off too standoff-ish, as i was just caught off guard lol. afterwards, i got to the dodger clubhouse and there was an authentic freddie freeman blue jersey. i had never seen this online at nike or fanatics, so i immediately copped. the guy said they don’t really get authentic jerseys like that, matter of fact, they hadn’t got any since he had been working. he asked if i was going to the game this afternoon and i told him i would’ve, but it was too hot. instead, i went to the kobe night because kobe was my guy. he told me kobe’s everybody’s guy, and that made me feel good because i feel like everybody has been disrespecting kobe since his death. kobe is the greatest human to touch a basketball hands down. i came back to pasadena to do some writing but ended up falling asleep. when i woke, it was damn near 6pm. i loaded the car up and drove to costa mesa to the oc fair. on the way there, i saw places that looked familiar on the freeways. westminster, lakewood avenue, bellflower, all these were places my big cousin bhe took me when i was younger. the memories came flooding back for the last half of the drive. when i got in the area, it took me 50 minutes to find parking, but the parking i found was a good location that was secluded with many parking spots still available. we walked around. i shot hoops, i did some bottle balance thing, and i saw some animals. could i ask for anything more?

what another great night it was.

-ratha, 11:48pm, 8.10.25

with taylor at the grove, 8.9.25

i got up with taylor today. we met up at the grove. we walked to the ovo store, he showed me the apple store (which looks so crazy), then we sat down at the farmer’s market. we talked for 3.5 hours about ai, our dating lives, technology, his experience living in los angeles, the films he’s worked on, and life since uncc. i haven’t seen him in 10/11 years. we used to hangout and party every weekend from 2011-2014. names of mutuals i haven’t heard in years triggered some amazing memories i forgot about. after graduation, he moved to nyc for a finance job. that’s the last i remembered, then when i seen him online, he had moved to los angeles. he took the chance on being a creative and it’s been paying off. i commend that so much. it’s inspirational. after our conversation, i left the grove feeling extremely thankful, especially for him. that’s my brother frfr.

the people i’ve met along the way in this life are blessings i can’t comprehend.

-ratha, 7:12pm, 8.9.25

kobe bryant night, 8.8.25

i pulled up to the dodgers game for kobe bryant’s bobblehead night. i sat in right loge and had an incredible view of the field. when i go to sporting events, i like to be in the middle. i think the views are better that way. right loge was a bit off center, but still in the middle overall. i got there early. nervous, i put my window down and asked the gentleman waving traffic if i was going the right way. he told me i was and to just go up the hill. i asked him how he was and he said he was doing great because it was kobe’s bobblehead night. i told him i flew from boston and he said i’d definitely be one of the first 40k people. though he was older, he had an incredible energy to him. after i parked, i walked to the entrance. there were 4 lines so i picked the shortest one to stand in. a guy came and asked me if it was a line that i was standing in. i told him i hoped so because it was the shortest one lol. he stood behind him along with his god daughter. we were talked for 15-20 minutes while they opened up the gates. he’s a raiders fan but he always catches one of the raiders/chargers games a year. he’s been to many dodger games and he tells me there’s no stadium as good as dodger stadium. after we got in and got the bobbleheads, he introduced himself as eric and told me to enjoy the game. everybody here has been so kind and it’s stuck with me. i walked around to some of the stores looking for a freddie freeman jersey. only one store had an authentic, but it was marked way, wayyyy up lol. i got an authentic grey blank because i hadn’t ever seen those for sale, even online. kobe’s family did the pregame activities such as throwing the first pitch and officially starting the game. we ended up beating the blue jays and mookie had a hr. freddie didn’t have a hit, but he got walked. i couldn’t believe i was seeing freddie. even though i started watching baseball last year, he’s my favorite player. i’ve been lucky to have seen all my favorite players from all my favorite sports teams play, but freddie is the only one i’ve seen at a home game.

after the game, i was stuck in the lot for near an hour, but i wasn’t even tripping because it was such a great night.

-ratha, 11:53pm, 8.8.25

the numbers, 8.7.25

the gate before i left was a19. when i landed, the gate was 22. then the baggage claim was carousel 24. those are my 3 favorite numbers in order. i know it sounds crazy, but i feel like the universe be talking to me through numbers. i’m always tasked with finding out why, but it’s significant i promise lmao. on the way to the rental, i got to talking to the lady driving one of the shuttles. she was so kind, literally greeted everybody onboarding the bus. i sat in the front seat and talked to her the whole ride. she mentioned how it’s nice that i wasn’t staying in la because la is dirty. then she said her daughter got her car window busted out a few weeks ago at a nearby beach, smh. most of our conversation revolved around los angeles and boston. she asked about salem in october and i told her it’s a must. the only thing is she doesn’t like flying. i’m the same way, but after a while, it’s not so bad especially if you can sleep some of the ride there. she also mentioned going to nyc during the holidays. i’ve always wanted to do the same because i hear it’s just like the movies, and this will be the year i finally do it. i hope she gets to go, too and maybe we’ll cross paths again. sometimes in this life you come across genuinely kind spirits and she was one of them.

even if it’s just for a few moments, it’s always appreciated.

-ratha, 11:21am, 8.7.25

the day before, 8.6.25

there’s so much i have to do today. i redid some of the already redid rdl365 for march 2024. i have to send edits back for the august drop. i need to find sound effects for the drop video, which may or may not have captions (i’m still deciding). i have to shave, pack, make sure bagel is good, and do laundry. i’m leaving work a little later than i would like, but i’ll have to be productive until i board.

then hopefully i can sleep my way all the way to los angeles.

-ratha, 4:00pm, 8.6.25