seeing a pig, 8.5.25

i took btg to ipswich for a nice evening walk. when i got there, the parking lot was full which is not the regularly scheduled program. i couldn’t even find a spot, i had to go to the overfill lot. as i was driving, there were so many people doing yoga in the fields. i made it to the main path and there were cops, firefighters, and local businesses. they even had a dj. it was an annual celebration of north reading with free food, activities, and more. it was quite a nice surprise. they even had a petting zoo with ducks, goats, and pigs. when bagel and i walked by, he was staring at the enclosure with the pigs. it then occurred to me that he has never seen a pig in real-life, which is more or less what he was bred to hunt. there are so many animals he could be friends with if he didn’t see them as food lol. we finished our walk and came home to eat. i gotta do a better job of keeping track of these events. i love the family-oriented ones. i’ve been stuck in the house for so long i’m missing out on life.

i have to remember that this is my life and i need to be participating in it!

-ratha, 9:20pm, 8.5.25

august drops, 8.4.25

we’re putting the finishing touches on the august drop. i really love it and hope others do as well. we’re already gearing up for september’s release.

there’s no stopping until we get where we want to go.

-ratha, 8:11pm, 8.4.25

changing directions, 8.3.25

i had a long talk with chan today about the direction of the music. i told him most people suggest putting out singles and never a project, but i don’t want to do that because i like creating a body of work. i feel that a body of work captures where i was at the time of creation and if i just do singles, it’s like one never ending stream with no means. it’s akin to a professional athlete having great games individually but never winning a championship. something’s missing. perhaps it’s the ocd in me. he told me to assimilate to the formula until the music takes off. it’s not what i wanted to hear, but i told him i’ll still release singles then drop the project and let the best performing songs become the next singles at the top of the year. i told him i’ve been burnt out between the writing, work, and the music. he told me to focus on the thing i want to do the most, but it’s hard for me to take a backseat to other things i love as well. it’s like i’m always working, but nothing ever gets done and i’m stuck in this feedback loop that’s draining me. they tell you consistency pays off, but what they fail to mention is that you have to fight through the fatigue first. it’s an uphill battle, but one i know i’ll be better because of.

and hopefully i can say the same about the world, too.

-ratha, 3:23pm, 8.3.25

bottlecap cravings, 8.2.25

tonight, i had a mean craving for bottle caps. i used to eat bottle caps in charlotte all the time. those and mike n’ ike’s were my two go-to’s. i hadn’t realized how long it’s been since i haven’t had bottle caps, but it had to be since charlotte which is almost 5 years at this point. i went to walmart and target, and they didn’t carry them. i did my googles and five below in saugus carried them. i went after dinner to pick a box up and they were just as good as i remembered, though they were much smaller.

as long as the taste is the same, i can forgive the shrinkflation i guess….

-ratha, 9:34pm, 8.2.25

breaking legs, 8.1.25

today is the first day of not doing 15k steps a day. my legs are relieved, plus they’ve earned a well-deserved break. since its august, i have a new challenge for myself. i’ve resubscribed the 100g protein a day, but i’m adding drinking 100oz of water as well. i usually don’t drink much so that’s a good one for me right now. it’s also nice because with the 15k steps, it would take an extra 2 or 3 hours of cardio, but with drinking 100oz, it’s not so much of a time commitment therefore i can focus on other things such as the music or the writing.

happy august!

-ratha, 10:05am, 8.1.25

the road to 15k, 7.31.25

today was the last day of 15k steps a day. it was a doozy. i got a good start at work and at the gym, but when i came home i fell asleep. when i woke up, it was later in the evening and pouring outside. i had to go to la fitness. i stayed until they closed and got 75 minutes in, but it wasn’t enough. i pulled up to walmart to walk around to get the rest of my steps. it was almost 11pm by the time i got to 15k, but nonetheless, we still did it. also, tonight the chargers were participants in the hall of fame game and they beat the brakes off of detroit. it’s preseason, but a win is a win. the biggest win though is that football is back.

that, and these 15k steps a day challenge is officially over.

-ratha, 11:43pm, 7.31.25

not meant to be, 7.30.25

i signed up for a lunch at the waltham site with a vp. there were about 20 of us from all different gsk sites in mass. i get nervous going to these things because it’s something new, but i felt a relief when i saw charlie get in the lunch line for the food they provided. the good thing about gsk is they have extracurricular events such as these lunches, networking opportunities, etc. i used to skip these because i prioritized work, but that got me nowhere so i’m taking liberties when it comes to these company-sponsored events. the vp was an md, then he went to academia, then he got a job at takeda for 5 years before he switched to gsk. though it’s not for me, that’s not a bad career trajectory at all. sometimes it does come down to who you know mixed in with a bit of luck. afterwards, i went to the yym. i pulled up to la fitness to get my steps in and a minute in to the treadmill, the lights shut off. all the electricity went out for the surrounding area. a bit perplexing as it was a beautiful day. they evacuated the building and instead of waiting, i took it as a sign to go wash my car. on my way i called t to ask her about her beach trip. she was sending me pics of the shark teeth she was finding so i had to ask how lmao. we caught up for the 15 minutes it took me to get to the car wash. seeing as it was hot and humid, i went to mcdonald’s to grab a drink as it was on the way to the car wash. i’ve had this extra mcdonald’s cup with a cap in my car since 2023 and i finally used it. i walked in and filled it with sprite. it felt like i was stealing lowkey, but i had already paid my dues two years ago, literally. i went to wash my car. it took a while to get all the sap off the roof of the sequoia, but with some perseverance and elbow grease i got the job done. by the time i finished, it was time to go home and feed bagel.

i just fed him so now i gotta get the steps i missed due to the power outage at la fitness earlier smh.

-ratha, 5:24pm, 7.30.25

eating inside, 7.29.25

is it me or does eating fast food inside the restaurant make the food taste better?? that’s one thing i miss about the 1990’s and 2000’s. tonight, i ate inside the mcdonald’s off main street in north reading. as i was eating, a family walked in and ate at a table across from me. across from them was 2 friends grabbing a late dinner as well. it was a comfy vibe as i finished dark valley, the podcast dbaze sent me on the connecticut river serial killer. i wonder why people take secrets to the grave with them if they’re no longer going to be here to suffer the consequences. wouldn’t you want to have compassion for the victims and their families? but maybe the issue is that people who do these types of things lack compassion. i mean obviously, but i still wonder. regardless, the mcdonald’s was so good.

the $10 burger meal deal is such a steal and i wish burger king offered it because i would be in there every single day.

-ratha, 10:07pm, 7.29.25

the prettiest flower, 7.28.25

at lunch, i decided to get some steps and walk to the usps to drop off a package. on my way walking through cambridge, i walked by an apartment that had some flowers outside. i’ve seen these flowers before, but when i looked closer, i was in awe. i had never seen a flower this pretty. it was vibrant and full of life. i stood and stared. it was a blue/purple color, but it had dimensions to it. i can’t really explain, though i did take picture. even the picture doesn’t do it justice, but it’s something good that happened today so i had to document it.

-ratha, 2:59pm, 7.28.25

new england crimes, 7.27.25

dbaze sent me a podcast called dark valley which focuses on a suspected new england serial killer whose crimes ranged from the 1980’s to the 2000’s. it’s a compelling series thus far. whether it’s the setting, where bodies are found, or even where people live, it’s strange to hear towns i am local(-ish) to being somehow connected to these murders. as i’m listening to the episodes, i’ve come to the realization that new england does have it’s own special lore. come to think of it, it’s so woody out here and it does give a goosebumps/dreary feeling some days. i go back and forth with myself whether coincidences are truly coincidences or if they are connected somehow by way of signs from the universe. this is the case with all the murders covered by dark valley. they’re all connected, mainly by a market in claremont, new hampshire called leo’s market. the host goes and interviews victim’s friends/family, visits correlating places, and consults with authority who have worked on the cases. the neat thing about this is that anybody can do it. it’s actually empowering.

with social media, technology, and a bit of curiosity, we may be closer to closure than we previously thought.

-ratha, 9:11pm, 7.27.25