touching pacific ocean, 8.11.25

i pulled up to santa monica today. i walked to get bagel some treats, then i shopped around. i tried on some shorts at zara but they weren’t hitting, so i had to pass. then i went to nike and they had the pink lebron 20’s. i wanted to cop so bad but i just don’t have space in my luggage so again, i had to pass. they had a run club meet so i was walking in the middle of them (or shall i say they were running around me) by the ocean. i noticed two houses that me and bhe saw in 2011. they still looked the same. even the cannon was still there that we took pics next to. i walked to the beach as the sun was setting. i talked to God. i thanked him, then i talked to him. i told him how thankful i was to be back here. i was overcome with emotions, but i tried to explain myself the best i could. when our conversation was finished, i walked to the water to put my feet in. the ocean was frigid lmao. that caught me off guard for sure. i stared into the distance as the sun was setting behind a hazy polluted back drop. the pictures don’t do it justice, but life felt like it should have in that moment. i haven’t experienced that in so long i’m beginning to think it was the first time. i walked the pier, stood for a magic show, then found myself at a table next to a fire outside in the middle of santa monica. i ordered a mocktail, a crab cake, mac n cheese, and a 12oz wagyu steak. dinner tonight was fantastic. after the check, i got to talking to my waiter. his name is sean. i asked if he likes living here, and he said he loves it but it’s expensive. he said he grew up in sherman oaks. i told him i’m thinking of relocating here. he asked where i was from and i said i live in boston. apparently one of his friends used to live in the greater boston area but moved out here as well. when he brought my check, he told me to have a good evening and that he’d see me next when i moved out here.

i drove home thinking about what a life out here would be like for me.

-ratha, 10:24pm, 8.11.25