making decisions, 2.21.24

happy gday to my brother e first and foremost!!

tonight, we went to dinner at fuji in kendall square. after we ordered, the waiter brought us some sushi that was complimentary. it was some sashimi salmon with a sweet brown sauce on it. i would’ve never ordered it, but since it was free, i tried it. it was fuegoooooo. i’m not a sushi guy per se, but i might come back for that. it would be a good side/appetizer. we conversed until they started closing. as i walked back to the parking garage, i had this feeling that the tides of life were changing. that, or i’m getting better at swimming through the waves (lately tsunamis). when i got home, after my shower, i laid in bed staring into the darkness that was my ceiling, thinking that it’s been a while since i’ve felt hopeful.

even if it’s just for the moment, feeling hope is so refreshing after going through the motions of confusion for so long.

-ratha, 11:23pm, 2.21.24

another uncc piece, 2.20.24

i added another piece to my vintage uncc collection today. it’s a reebok basketball windbreaker. it’s got the reebok sign circling a basketball with uncc charlotte written above. it’s so 90’s and i love it. the windbreaker is a little wide on me, but i’m going to take it my tailor and see what he can do with it. nothing beats the nike soccer jacket, but this is a top 5 piece out the collection no questions.

with spring coming, it couldn’t have come at a better time.

-ratha, 8:11pm, 2.20.24

qdoba firsts, 2.19.24

i tried qdoba today for the first time and it was aight. i like that they have queso that comes with the meal, but other than that, it was okay. they don’t have the viniagrette like chipotle, which is what makes chipotle tbh. i’m trying to try new things these days and the act of stepping out of the usual in life has been doing my soul some good lately.

-ratha, 7:11pm, 2.19.24

atlanta, tampa update, 2.18.24

i’m not going to be able to release atlanta, tampa this month because it’s just not ready. the whole goal was to release a song a month, but it fell apart the 2nd month lmaooo. to make up for it, ima drop two in march. first week of march we’re aiming for atlanta, tampa. then third week, we’re aiming for either troubled spirits, fully loaded, or on scene. i still have yet to make a decision on that. i think i’ll push back coming home lateee from april to may, which means staying over, leaving early will get pushed back from october to november. a month delay, which isn’t too bad.

let’s hope everything goes to plan from here on out.

i’m locked in.

-ratha, 11:03pm, 2.18.24

just a feeling, 2.17.24

i believe great things lie ahead of us. the conversations i’ve been having with the people i love, the new experiences, the new mindset, the risks i’m taking, it all feels so refreshing. it feels like a big life change is on the horizon for all of us. some days i feel bad, but i get these glimpses of joy thinking about the future. whether it’s listening to a beat, walking with bagel, or sitting alone on a saturday night with my thoughts. my spirit is trying to tell me something through my intuition. the message is a bit fuzzy, but i’m confident time will sharpen the vision and i’ll be able to experience these blessings firsthand.

i can’t explain it.

it’s just a feeling i have.

-ratha, 9:05pm, 2.17.24

december 2023 music video, 2.16.24

man. i want to put out the video, but since part of it was shot at the workplace, due to legal reasons i can’t put it out. i uploaded it to youtube and have shown it to a few people. they said they like it but that i seemed nervous rapping. i was nervous af lol. you can definitely tell by watching, but everyone has to start somewhere, right? i love constructive criticism because it means people care and that’s love. another thing i love is, is the aesthetic of the video being shot on an iphone 4 and how it’s color graded. i might just send out the private link to people subscribed to my newsletter and let them have it that way.

decisions, decisions…

-ratha, 4:09pm, 2.16.24

neighbor profiles, 2.15.24

i was walking bagel and my neighbor goes to check his mail. i wave to him, then he asks me a question. i take my headphones off and he repeats his question. he asks if i live here or do i come to walk my dog. this is the same thing one of my neighbors (ironically the house next to him) asked me a while back. i told him i live in that house as i pointed to mine. he then gave me his name and introduced himself. i didn’t take offense, but damn. i walk bagel damn near every day in rain, sleet, snow, and sunshine. it’s strange to think that i would come to the neighborhood for the sole purpose of walking my dog, especially when there is a park 5 minutes away. i don’t like to make too much of these things, but i do find it a bit humorous. plus, i am beginning to house hunt. i miss having my own place and i think this year will be the year i may become a homeowner. if i can’t find anything, i’ll rent an apartment for a year max while also looking for houses. i can’t wait to be in my own zone and to decorate things how i want them to be.

i’m looking forward to having my own place, again.

-ratha, 9:11pm, 2.15.24

ducks in a row, 2.14.24

i’ve been getting told how well i’m doing at work lately, which is a complete 180 of what i feel my experience has been for the past 2 years. it makes me feel good hearing these things, but i am weary of it because it feels like the universe is going to put me at a crossroads here soon. career is going great just when i’m beginning to hit my stride and be consistent with the music. i know how one story ends, the other can either be really bad, or really good. i know i can’t keep them both and eventually i’ll have to let one go, but i don’t know if i’m ready to make that decision.

then again, when are we ever ready to make a decision that will change our lives?

-ratha, 10:02am, 2.14.24

underwhelming snow, 2.13.24

they said 9-13 inches, but we are getting a light dust as the noreaster moved a little bit south. i’m not complaining because it’s a work from home day, which means i get to write a little more and last but not least, spend more time with bagel.

-ratha, 1:07pm, 2.13.24

ratha orange, 2.12.24

i been thinking about this for a few days now. clark came up to me last week asking about my name on an official document. he thought my last name was david, but i told him that was my middle name. i asked him if he could keep my full name on the document. he obliged and told me he could make that happen. he then compliments me on my orange shirt. i guess because gsk’s logo is orange, people in the office that day had been mentioning the color of my shirt. clark said orange looked good on me and he said they should change the name to ‘ratha orange’ lol. he’s always so complimentary and kind towards me, which makes being at my job easier honestly. he then says if he had a daughter that he would want me to marry her. that caught me off-guard, but it’s been on my mind for days. it made me self-reflect on myself and things i’ve done and who i’ve become, and at the end of the day, though nobody is perfect, i’m happy with who i am at this very moment. of course, there are things i’ve done i’m not proud of, but i think one of my strongest qualities is i always try to improve and i never, ever give up. especially in the realm of love. i’m a product of the people around me, and it just so happens the people around me are the biggest blessings one can have in this lifetime.

marriage?!

that’s really the ultimate compliment.

-ratha, 4:44pm, 2.12.24