rdl365, 1.2.24

i made a new instagram, rdl365. i’ve been wanting to do this for the past few years to showcase my writing in a more digestible form. it’s the evolution of my rdl4ever folders, where i write my thoughts, confessions, and emotions on manila folders. i’m going to upload a thought every day for the whole year of 2024. i actually think this is a leap year, plus i did a new year’s eve one, so that’s 367. i’m hoping it’ll teach me consistency and discipline among letting other people know they aren’t the only ones who feel the way they do. our situations are unique, but our emotions are similar, if not identical. that’s what connection and empathy is.

we’ll see where we are at a year from now.

-ratha, 3:24pm, 1.2.24

dad’s gday dinner, 1.1.24

dad, mom, ta, and i went to mandarin in reading for dad’s birthday. it’s happy new year’s for everybody around the world, but for me today has always been happy birthday dad. i say this every year, but i have to let it be known. this is a day for the greatest man ever born my father. we got so much food from general gao chicken, mongolian beef, sashimi, crab rangoons, pork fried rice, and shrimp and broccoli. before i forget, it used to be general tso chicken, right?? i’ve been seeing general gao a lot more frequently these days. whenever i order, it’s like the same thing, but i do wonder if there is a difference. regardless, it was a feast. we had great conversation, a few laughs, and delicious food.

quality time is hard to find these days, so showing gratitude is the only way i can respond to nights like these.

happy gday dad!

the goat!!

-ratha, 8:01pm, 1.1.24

the clock strikes midnight, 1.1.24

everything from here on out is personal because i will never, ever, forget what i felt tonight when the clock struck 12am.

-ratha, 12:21am, 1.1.24

back on vid, 12.31.23

happy new year’s eve if you are reading this. we finally made it to the 31st of december. thru the good times and the not so bad times, we lived through it all. some people ain’t make it, but not everybody can go to the top. that’s a humble reminder before an arrogant declaration, but i’ll save that for tomorrow.

i hope you have the time of your life and get home safely.

-ratha, 7:58pm, 12.31.23

warm decembers, 12.30.23

is it me or is has it been a warm december?

-ratha, 7:12pm, 12.30.23

the year of being all over, 12.29.23

i had to end the year with my year in review on the 29th. it was a long post, about 3600 words, which is about 3x longer than my normal year in review but it makes sense because it was a long year. dealing with some of the things i’ve dealt with this past year…..i sometimes feel like life isn’t real. to act or to react? to fight or to surrender. to let go and let God or to believe in willpower? it goes to show how quickly life can change and the power of a single decision.

i think i’m dissociating right now and i don’t know when i’ll feel like myself again.

-ratha, 4:14pm, 12.29.23

29th on the 28th, 12.28.23

so many things i wish i could talk to you about, but more than that, so many moments i wish I could experience with you. i wish you were still here with us physically, but i know you’re somewhere above the clouds. you would’ve been 29 today and i couldnt think of what we would’ve been doing. turning up somewhere in charlotte or raleigh or who knows where we could’ve been. it’s been over two years but i still ain’t forgot about you. i never will. i’ll miss you until the end of time brother.

happy 29th birthday bro, love you with all my heart.

-ratha, 3:26pm, 12.28.23

the missing north face jacket, 12.27.23

maaaaaaaaaaaaaan. i went to burlington mall and the north shore mall in search of a boysenberry arctic parka only to come up empty-handed. the guy at the north shore mall told me they will restock once more before they switch the season, so i will keep an eye out on the website. something interesting that happened today was that while i was walking in the malls, or even driving to them, i only listened to a song i recorded earlier this morning. usually this doesn’t happen. i’m always listening to drake (or lately tyler loyal), but i gravitated towards myself today. it’s gotta be a sign i’m trending in the right direction, but i have to keep the momentum going.

2024 got a different feeling to it already.

-ratha, 11:11pm, 12.27.23

planet fitness in revere, 12.26.23

i got a good workout in with schuni today at the planet fitness in revere. we were there for over an hour and a half and it felt good. i hadn’t hit the gym since before i went to minnesota earlier this month. afterwards we were sitting in the car and he asked me to play the song i’m releasing in a few weeks. i had never done that before because i’ve always been insecure about my music, but i said fuck it why not. plus, i needed some honest feedback. as soon as the first beat transition came on, he started nodding his head. that shit had to be one of the best feelings because by the end he told me run it back. we listened to it again and he told me at some points he can feel my confidence not being all the way there, which i appreciated. he said he didn’t know what he was expecting, but it blew his expectations out the water. it had me too hype, even more ready to drop this music i’ve been working on. i’m my biggest critic, and even then, i’m still excited for this drop. this will set the tone for the year,

hopefully for the next decade plus.

december 2023 coming soon.

-ratha, 5:33pm, 12.26.23

christmas 23’, 12.25.23

what a successful christmas for the most part. i got my dad the sweatpants and he says they fit, so that was good. my mom liked the jacket but wanted it longer, so i went to look at north face for the parka version of the arctic jacket in the boysenberry color and the only size we needed was sold out. i’ll have to check the stores at burlington and peabody in person sometime later this week. bagel’s chewy box that i wrapped turned out to be his kibble and not the one with the toy and treats so that was a disappointment, but we still had treats and toys from last year. i can’t believe the christmas toys i got him from petsmart were still in the bag in the pantry. i gave him one last year and i guess my mom moved the bag so i forgot about them. i opened my gifts which were some skincare products, a camo jacket, a few shirts, and some other miscellaneous things.

another year with no snow on christmas, but this year there is football and plenty of gifts to go around.

-ratha, 4:55pm, 12.25.23