the fantasy run, 12.24.23

my fantasy run is over. i was able to beat e in the playoffs last week, but this week there are just too many injuries. cj stroud, pittman jr, and keenan allen are out. jt and nico collins are coming back off injury, and both are playing with back-up quarterbacks. then hockenson went out in the 3rd quarter against the lions. bad luck, but a good time overall. next year it is.

at least there are football games for christmas eve and christmas.

-ratha, 8:11pm, 12.24.23

secret santa fridays, 12.23.23

schuni made a reservation for 5 at rosa mexicano tonight. we did the secret santa after a good meal. i got the 22oz ribeye and some dessert called flan. priyank was my gift giver and he got me the kobe book. sheeeeeeeeeeeeesh!!! what a good gift!! he knows me too well. definitely something i have to read during this next week that i have off. priyank got an expired drug test and a pickleball set. mehriban got a nice plush beanie. jennifer got a mink blanket with a dunkin donuts gift card. schuni got a cooking set with an afro vegan recipe book. we all went to puttshack afterwards and it was so fucking fun. we played two courses, so 18 holes. i was able to squeeze by and win the second time around. putt shack a good date night spot, so that will definitely get explored in 2024. afterwards, i dropped priyank and jennifer at their cars at work. then i drove schuni home. schuni sat and talked to me about things going on at the moment from work, to life, etc. we said we going to have retirement money in the next 5 years. we sat in front of his house and talked for an hour and a half until about 1:45am. you won’t find just anybody that cares enough to be passionate about you being better and talking to you about your problems and how to navigate them. God blessed me with the people he has put in my life. i am so thankful man.

the holiday season may feel empty (especially as we grow older), but remembering the people in my life has got me more in the spirit than ever.

-ratha, 3:02am, 12.23.23

secret santa problems, 12.22.23

i have no idea what to get my secret santa. i’m going to go to marshall’s and tj maxx and hope for the best. i only have 4 hours but something has to budge lol.

-ratha, 2:04pm, 12.22.23

up from here, 12.21.23

when i got back home, i walked bagel. it was well-past dark at the time, but it dawned on me how today is the first day of winter, which means that every day from here on out until summer gets a little bit longer and a little bit brighter. it’s a bit metaphorical, but that’s the new wave moving forward.

only better, only brighter.

-ratha, 10:24pm, 12.21.23

back to beantown, 12.21.23

chan and i got wingstop during his work break before i had to leave for boston. i have a hard time leaving him because that’s big bro. i couldn’t have asked for a better brother, a better role model, and a better person to look up to. we talked about current situations, and plans for the future. he said he felt i was held back recently, because all the things i wanted to do never got done. chan told me to keep my momentum and really make things happen in the 2024.

it’s hard to get your footing when you fall, but i’m catching myself gaining momentum.

-ratha, 8:21pm, 12.21.23

christmas at crabtree, 12.20.23

i had to find a gift for my dad so i went to crabtree. i ended up getting him some lululemon sweatpants, which i think he will like. then i had to find my secret santa gift, but nothing stood out for the person i got. i did end up coming upon treats for bagel and a nice carolina hurricanes shirt for myself, though that wasn’t the intention. i still don’t know what to get for secret santa, but i’ll have to make it quick because i’m flying back tomorrow night, then friday night is the gift exchange.

coming down to the wire, but it doesn’t even feel like christmas.

-ratha, 4:21pm, 12.20.23

keeping me grounded, 12.19.23

tonight, i went back to greenville to visit e and ian. we went to the aquatic center to hoop for the second night in a row. it was good this time, went 3-2 though i didn’t contribute much. i did hit the game winning 3 our last game, so it wasn’t all a loss. we picked up ms. mayra afterwards and went to longhorns. after dinner, ms. mayra invited me back to her place to give me a piece of carrot cake eduardo’s girlfriend had made. as soon as i stepped in her apartment with e, it smelled just like their apartment in trellis pointe back in 2005. it took me back. it also made me that much more thankful of her and e. they’ve been in my life for almost 20 years. we are real family. it’s amazing to think how e and i have grown up right in front of her eyes. she asked about my mom and how she has been. before we left, i gave her a hug and she said she loved me with all my heart. i told her the same, because i do.

as we drove back to e’s spot, one thing was on my mind. ms. mayra had asked if i had talked to a mutual friend of e and i. i told her i hadn’t spoken to him since highschool, but the reason she asked was because we were all best friends in 7th/8th grade. i told her i hadn’t and she asked if i knew that his mother had passed away last year. i hadn’t heard, but it was so crazy because ms. mayra said they were close and that she did a lot for her when it came down to e and his brother. i remember his mom being so kind and so calm, so naturally i asked what happened. she said she didn’t know, but that it might’ve been stress from her job as a nurse. it made me so sad because i remember how sweet of a lady she was when we were all younger.

life is too short.

-ratha, 11:31pm, 12.19.23

the grey cat, 12.18.23

i came to greenville to visit e today. we hooped, then went to bdubs to watch the philly/seattle game. i also got to meet my nephew, ian, for the first time today. i felt bad because i knocked down sweet tea trying to interact with ian on his carpet and messed up his rug. whenever e and i are on the phone and he’s walking inside, he always says what’s up to this stray grey cat. i got to see this grey cat in person today and he’s handsome af lmaooo. he came up to me and rubbed his head on my hand. my heart damn near melted. after we got back from dinner, e put a cat bed inside of a cardboard box for him in front of his house. we tried to lure him there with treats, but he wasn’t budging. man, if i lived in the area, i’d for sure adopt that cat no questions. he’s mad affectionate, almost like a dog, which is the perfect fit for me.

ima miss him when i leave frfr.

-ratha, 11:09pm, 12.18.23

the ironing board, 12.17.23

after last night, it was tough to get up today and check out from the hotel. i ended up getting brunch at ruby sunshine in ballantyne with a good friend that i haven’t seen since 2015/2016. still though, we always pick up where we left off. she’s a mother now and she’s married. i love that for her and it’s so inspiring for me. she was telling me about having a child and how amazing her husband is at being a father. it’s so crazy because i remember when they first met when she first told me about him, i was excited for them. to see their relationship bloom and evolve into what it is today is beautiful. it was either the first time or one of the first times they went back to his place, he didn’t have much furniture, so they ate dinner on an ironing board. even though he lived in the hood in fayetteville, she said there was no place she would rather be than in that moment with him. man, i love love. hearing love stories like that make me think of my life and who i wouldn’t mind eating off an ironing board with. really i think the ironing board is symbolic of pure love. it could be the floor, it could be a fine dining table, it could be only your hands, but it’s all about who you want to be with in moments of vulnerability despite what the situation is because anything with that person fills you with love. that’s why i think every day occurrences can be so intimate. like oh, i want you to come to target with me. i want you to grocery shop with me. i want you to come with me while i drop something off at ups. i love that she has found that and now they have started a beautiful family. i admire that so much.

we ended brunch and vowed that it wouldn’t be 7 years before we would get up again.

-ratha, 4:22pm, 12.17.23

out early, 12.17.23

we pulled up to slingshot last night. slingshot is a bar/arcade/club in southend. we shot some hoop, played connect 4, tossed some rings, and danced to such a fire playlist. at one point they played come thru by drake and i just felt like life was up for the moment. they would never play come thru at a club in new england, not even a chance, so this was much appreciated as surprising as it was. as i’m standing at the bar, i see the bartender motion for security to go to the patio. they go to the patio and bring this guy out like the cops. he’s dark-skinned so i don’t notice anything until he passes me, but his nose was fucked up and dripping blood. as i see them escort him out the front, someone runs from the front and hits him again. i’m like damnnnnnnnnnnn. they was fighting too much that a few moments later on the dance floor, they stopped the music and closed it down for the night lmao. we went outside in the drizzle and waited in line for the halal food truck. it took forever, but i didn’t mind because i was living in the moment. we got into a conversation with two guys who looked like twins but weren’t because one of their sweaters said “grandpa is the closest thing to santa.” i really fucked with that sentiment because it’s such a good parallel. we hung out in the city a little more before parting ways. i just got back to my hotel room and it’s 3:46am.

i can’t remember the last time i was out this late, but i had a blast.

-ratha, 3:49am, 12.17.23