vapi’s with money, 12.16.23

money was in town for the falcons/panthers game so we got up for vapiano’s downtown. it’s called bella ciao now, but it’s still so fire. i got the usual fettucini chicken alfredo, the same dish i’ve been getting since i first came here in 2011. what i love about their pasta is the texture. i haven’t tasted pasta similar to that anywhere else. i don’t eat pasta often, but i’ve ate it enough over the years to know that vapiano’s is special. money and i talked about the amm air jordan 5’s release, the reverse grinch kobes, baby g, and going to japan next year. it’s incredible that we can get up at the same restaurant year after year and have different conversations about the same topics. shoes, women, life, etc. i asked if he was going to move back to nc and he told me it’s a thought in his mind, especially if he could find a similar job to what he has now in georgia, up here. i told him i plan to move back in the next few years but new england might be the wave for me at the moment.

anything can happen at any time, but it’s always a blessing to have time and good people in your corner so i thank God.

time with good people in this life is such a luxury these days.

-ratha, 10:02pm, 12.16.23

qc alone, 12.15.23

feels wierd being in the qc alone, but thank God we made it in one piece. shit, it feels strange traveling alone, but moves have to be made regardless. i did laundry and a few things for bagel before i left. i didn’t go to bed until 2:30am and got up at 5am to go to the airport. once i touched down, i entered a raffle for the reverse grinches and didn’t get them. definitely have to go the resale route, but thankful i’m in a position where i can afford to do so. i went to the uncc bookstore to kill time and they were closed. my best assumption was for graduation, but who knows. then i went and got korean bbq, headed to southpark mall to look for gifts for the secret santa exchange plus for my dad, and checked-in to my hotel. i’m about to nap before dinner at o-ku. then afterwards i’ll probably get active in the city, but then again, i’m tired as shit so who knows. plus, i have to send december 2023 to get mix and mastered.

despite running low on energy, they say a busy life is a good life.

though i’ve been trying to find the silver lining in things lately to no avail.

-ratha, 5:11pm, 12.15.23

the worst loss, 12.14.23

21-0 after the first quarter. 42-0 at half. 63-21 final score. this the worst chargers game i’ve seen in my 20 years tenure as a chargers fan. still though, i always thought we had a chance to comeback no matter how naive it sounded. and i watched until the clock ticked 0:00.

can’t nobody question my loyalty smh.

-ratha, 11:32pm, 12.14.23

hometown chocolates, 12.14.23

i had my end of year review with my boss today. i actually like our one on ones, because he gets candid both professionally and personally. he let’s me speak and he does hear me out on issues that i bring up. it’s refreshing and much more different than my experience with his boss, who is also my boss. our meeting lasted 2 hours and ended with him giving me some chocolates from his hometown in pennsylvania as a christmas gift. that was very thoughtful of him!

it’s my last day of work for the year and i’m looking forward to not being in the office for the next 2-3 weeks.

-ratha, 4:51pm, 12.14.23

who’s counting?, 12.13.23

thinking back on this day for the past two months, each day was so different from one another. they were complete polar opposites if we’re being honest. the nights are long, the days are slow. despite this, the time still passes. at times it doesn’t feel like our time has ran out, but this is uncharted territory for the both of us, so maybe it is hard to believe it’s been so long since everything went down.

a month exactly today, but who’s counting?

i guess i am.

-ratha, 11:13pm, 12.13.23

mamaleh’s chocolate cake, 12.13.23

i was telling jennifer that i forgot about the mamaleh’s chocolate cake in my outside fridge that we bought after the work outing last month and how it went bad when i finally remembered about it. i also told sujeet (another one of our coworkers who frequents mamaleh’s) about the chocolate cake and how good it was. we had an ugly christmas holiday party this afternoon at work where they provided a hot chocolate station, beef tenderloins, cookies, brownies, and candy canes amongst other holiday-themed food items. as we’re eating at one of the booths, my coworker who frequents mamaleh’s comes in with a bag full of chocolate cake! he gave us all a piece. them jawns like $7 a slice! i was like ayooooooooooo. definitely made my day. i looked at him and hugged him lmao.

i didn’t eat the cake at lunch because i was already full off the food they provided, but it will be so good tonight after dinner, or perhaps as dessert for tomorrow’s chargers primetime game.

-ratha, 2:03pm, 12.13.23

fantasy playoffs, 12.12.23

i scraped by and made the playoffs beating money on points by 10. the issue is the chargers play on thursday and keenan allen is questionable, nico collins is questionable, jt is out, and cj stroud most likely will be out as well due to a concussion.

i made the fantasy playoffs, but at what cost?

smh.

-ratha, 11:41am, 12.12.23

the okay samaritan, 12.11.23

when mom and dad were picking me up, the highlander needed a jump start. the battery needed a jump about a week and a half ago, so i guess this wasn’t unexpected. we told the officer waving traffic about our situation, and he called someone. after he called someone, an indian guy pulls up in an old honda accord. he asks us what’s going on and when we tell him we need a jump, he says he has cables. long story short, he jumps the car for us. as he is doing that, a small tow truck pulls up (the one the officer called). the tow truck waited until the highlander was good before he drove off. as the indian guy was putting his hood down, my mom tries to give him money. he declines, but when i get in the car, he asks my dad how much the tow truck would charge us? he said would it be $80? my dad said he didn’t know and the indian guy asked for $50. my mom gave it to him, but i got a feeling the tow truck wouldn’t have charged us anything as the officer called him for us. maybe i’m wrong, but i think we got swindled. not really swindled, but you know? maybe it wasn’t all out of kindness after all, but yet, we still appreciated him jumping our car so we can’t really say anything. my mom and dad said he looked like a young college kid so they didn’t mind giving him money.

maybe it’s just me, maybe i’m tripping, i don’t know.

he did jump the highlander though, so shoutout to him.

-ratha, 11:13pm, 12.11.23

back to savage, 12.10.23

today we left ta. it’s a sad feeling. i also felt bad because he asked if i was bored at his house, but i wasn’t. even just being in his presence made me feel appreciative of life and of him. i just wish my mind wasn’t running 1000 miles a minute thinking about shit i shouldn’t be trying to process. of how someone should be here with me right now and this and that and the third. i’m kind of floating through life right now and i’m getting tired. but being around ta has me energized. i missed him a ton and i need to come back here sooner than 2.5 years.

i’m thinking february or march.

and maybe that someone will be with me during that time.

-ratha, 6:24pm, 12.10.23

seeing ta, 12.9.23

life has hit our family hard this year. first it was my auntie, then it was my dad’s uncle, then it was almost ta two months ago. we drove to rochester today to see him. he looks weak and frail, but he is still mentally sharp. it’s heartbreaking. every time i look at him, i see my dad in him. one because it’s his dad (obviously), but two because they look alike and my mind goes to my dad getting older. it’s been two years since i’ve been here and the vibe is much different this time around. we are going to just hang out. eat, sit around, watch tv, and catch up. i don’t want to think this is my last time seeing him, but it could be. only God knows. this life is so precious, and it goes by too quick. you have to let people know how you feel about them and how much you appreciate them while you still can because you just never know.

-ratha, 7:13pm, 12.9.23