the mint brownies, 10.19.23

i don’t know if i’ve wrote about it here, but if i did, i apologize for the rerun. i looked back at my last week of posts and i didn’t see anything about it, but then again, i’m good at missing things. anyways, at the seminar in waltham last week, they had these incredible mint chocolate chip brownies. i got one, then got two more, then one for the road. okay, now that i’m writing, i remember writing about the brownies, but here’s the thing. i had a mean headache the day of the seminar. it happened around lunch time and i blamed it on being hungry and dehydrated. i typically don’t get headaches, let alone one as bad as i had that day. i didn’t make much of it. actually, the headache didn’t go away until i slept it off the next morning. the next day comes, i go about my day. i had a lot to do last friday, so i didn’t have time to eat. as i’m about to cut the grass, i see the brownie i took home from the seminar. i ate it and within minutes i had a booming headache that lasted for hours. that’s when i came to the conclusion that brownie had some ingredient my body wasn’t quite agreeing with. today, i run across a colleague from tech dev. i remember seeing him there so i asked if he ate the brownie. he said he didn’t but asked why. i told him about my experience and he said he didn’t eat a brownie. i have to ask a few more colleagues if they ate the brownies, but damn isn’t that wierd??

i wonder what the hell was in those brownies.

-ratha, 8:13pm, 10.19.23

same place traffic, 10.18.23

on the way to work this morning, traffic was heavy. i needed to get to the right lane to exit 21 off mystic ave. as i turned my blinker on, i had enough space to merge, but the guy in the lane sped up to stop me from merging. i’m like aight, we good as we still got some time before the exit. then traffic speeds up just enough to where i have enough space to merge and he does it again. it was intentional at that point. as i passed him, i looked over and honked. he purposely kept his stare forward. eventually, i was able to get around him and exit off 21 but as i passed him, i saw him look at me, smh. we all stuck in traffic, ain’t no way he was losing anything by letting me in. then when i pull up, my boss pulls up in a new tesla right next to me. i tried to ignore him, but he asks me how things are going, so i ask him about promotions. he gives me the runaround, then says they are trying to fix things first quarter of 2024. at least he heard me out, but at the same time, i’m working my ass off so he can afford a tesla. this 9-5 shit is rigged. you work hard for someone else to look good and if they look good enough, you got an opportunity to have someone else work for you so you can look good. for some, actually for most, it works, but for someone like me, it’s a scam. especially with my boss.

between the commute, the co-workers, my boss, and the promotion cycle, i don’t have much left to give.

it’s just too draining.

-ratha, 11:54am, 10.18.23

traveling the road, 10.17.23

my dad sent us a video of ta today. he is doing much better than he was two weeks ago. he’s speaking and in the video, he says he wants to eat some corn. that must be where i get my genes from because i love me some corn. he got me craving buttered corn off the cob, i promise it doesn’t get much better. you never know what’ll happen to you in this life, or even when, so it’s best to enjoy what’s in front of you right now. a trip to minnesota is definitely in the books before the end of the year, and it’s urgent, too.

december might go from cold to colder, from icy to so icy like 1017.

-ratha, 7:13pm, 10.17.23

mnf losses, 10.16.23

we lost another nail-biter to the cowboys of all teams on monday night football. 20 years of being a san diego charger fan, i can confidently say i’m used to this. and so its bagel. it’s sad, but shit at least we’re loyal lol. i love primetime games, even better when we win, but sometimes you do lose. somewhere in between the two you have to possess a love for the game that let’s you enjoy the process no matter the result.

primetime games are always fun to watch and i can’t wait for our next.

-ratha, 11:42pm, 10.16.23

a game off, 10.15.23

this week will be the third week where i’ll finish 1 game behind for pick em. the previous 2 times this happened, had i not bet against detroit, i would’ve won on the tiebreaker. shoulda, coulda, woulda, smh. doesn’t matter if i don’t win, but i’m hoping one of these weeks things fall my way.

-ratha, 11:18pm, 10.15.23

crate & barrel, 10.14.23

walking into crate & barrel had me inspired. just like a song or a photograph, furniture can make me feel some type of way. i can’t explain it. it had me excited to purchase my first property and decorate it. i fell in love with a few chairs and a side table. i think when i get my own spot, i’ll have a spacious room filled with unique rugs and textured chairs. i’ll go in there to sit and think or sit and read or sit and watch a tv series or sit and…

you get the point.

-ratha, 4:24pm, 10.14.23

13’s, 10.13.23

officially official.

-ratha, 10:13pm, 10.13.23

the exit 21 bridge, 10.13.23

there was a back up getting off i93 on exit 21. as i sat in traffic, i looked around. to my left, i saw the bridge i always get on i93 when going northbound after work. i thought about how someone jumped off some months back and didn’t make it. i think it was beginning of summer. i wonder what they missed out on and if things would’ve gotten better by now for them had they not made that decision to jump off, but perhaps there was no decision to be made. emotions can be that strong and that uncontrollable just as much as life can be that difficult and that unfortunate.

it’s all so hard to comprehend at times.

-ratha, 10:37am, 10.13.23

semi-seminars, 10.12.23

instead of going into the lab, we had an option to attend a company-wide seminar in waltham. i pulled up and at first, i sat in the parking lot hesitant to go in. i don’t know why i had second thoughts, but i did. one of the ladies from hr pulled up, then i decided to go in. as i went in, they were breaking in between sessions. i took that as a pristine opportunity to find a seat in the back row of the lecture hall. i sat down, sat through a session about personal branding and linkedin profiles. after that concluded, it was lunch time. i had chicken alfredo, grilled chicken, and mint chocolate chip brownies that were to die for. it was a beautiful fall day. we’ve been having lots of those lately, so i have to count my blessings. the building the seminar in was perched up on higher ground and had an incredible view of i-95 and some lake/pond. i stepped outside, then noticed ms. sam sitting with her team. we spent 10 minutes conversing about how nice this area is and how beautiful the view would be in a week or so when the leaves all change color. we walked inside to check out some booths afterwards, but i was so thankful i didn’t drive to waltham just to leave, which is the summary of my life metaphorically speaking. i’m glad i walked-in, saw some familiar faces, and enjoyed a view i never knew existed.

now, time to do that in other areas of my life.

-ratha, 10:38pm, 10.12.23

malicious intent, 10.11.23

sometimes i get ahead of myself because i’m so cynical of the world. there are two sides of the lab where we hang our lab coats. we aren’t supposed to have our names on both sides, but several of us do, including me. i go to the front of the lab and my name is replaced, though others with hooks on both sides still have their name up. i moved the name that replaced mine to an empty hook with no name, then printed out a label with my name. i thought about being petty, but i decided to go with my government name. i replaced the label, then was told someone else removed my name tag from my hook, not the person who had their name where mine was. i felt better about my decision to not be petty after that information, though someone took my lab coat with my iphone charger in it and i haven’t seen it in months so maybe i’ll save my pettiness if i ever figure that one out.

sometimes i have to find a way to chill, because not everything is personal, intentional, nor is it done with malicious intent.

-ratha, 4:28pm, 10.11.23