taking care, 7.23.23

tonight, i got to see my idol live and in-person. it was surreal. i’m writing this on train 1 going towards 86th street not knowing what to feel. out of the 20,000 people in attendance, i think it did more for me than anyone else there. more than a good time and getting my mind off things falling apart currently, it inspired me in ways i needed to be reminded of.

grateful.

-ratha, 11:31pm, 7.23.23

the new york city comedy club, 7.22.23

after dinner at laut, a malaysian place, o and i went to a comedy club. i have never been before, but it was a good time. the only issue i had was that if we ordered drinks and snacks, we had to order $20 per person. if we didn’t get up to the threshold, they would charge us the difference. other than that, the comics were hilarious. there were 6 of them. out of those 6, there were three memorable ones. out of the memorable ones, there was one who stood out. he was actually the 3rd comic up. as soon as he hit the stage he pointed at this tall guy sitting front row sleeveless and said that they both could storm dc and take back the capital. i thought he was going to do a few roasts and quit, but he kept going and going and going. his name was aaron berger. he was going in, that shit had o and i laughing until our stomach’s were hurting. the ticket was $40 bucks, and his 15 minute set was worth much more. there was also a funny lesbian, but i forgot her name. and some other guy who was 38 and had a 1 year old. i might have to hit some comedy clubs in boston, but i’m not sure they’ll be as good as what we experienced tonight.

maybe i just have to have an open mind, the same one that brought me to the comedy club tonight.

-ratha, 10:38pm, 7.22.23

nyc-bound, 7.21.23

after a lot of traffic, i finally made it to nyc after 5+ hours. i linked up with my brother obeezy. we caught up in his apartment 3 floors up in manhattan before going to korean bbq. they had this kiwi strawberry ‘mocktail’ that was so fire. the food was aight. definitely not as much food as what it was priced. it was $60 something with tip for both of us and i wasn’t full. sura back in boston is $60 plus for all you can eat galbi, but still, the experience was great. afterwards, we walked around the city and ended up at this dive bar. i told o about my newfound love for shuffleboard, and he brought me to a place to play. the music was a nice mix of kendrick, drizzy, and r&b. at some point in the night, o and i got separated. i just sat down at a booth on my phone when someone comes and asks me if i’m saving the booth. i said no, and they had brought a scrabble board and asked if i wanted to play. i agreed and when o came back, him and i along with 6 others played scrabble. i hadn’t played in a while, but it was fun. so fun we didn’t even keep track of the score, we just kept spelling.

first night in nyc was a success.

-ratha, 11:58pm, 7.21.23

the escobar files, 7.20.23

joe and i ate a late lunch today. we were talking about places we had been, places we had lived, and how we ended up in boston. he mentions that he lived in singapore for 4 years. he goes to tell me stories about all the islands he traveled, the countries he’s been to, and life in singapore. as i’m looking it up, i’m getting the itch to travel. i’ve been wanted to do an international trip, and especially now that i’ve renewed my passport, i’m looking to do one in the last quarter of the year. singapore looks beautiful and it’s close to southeast asia, so that’s definitely a positive.

after lunch, i go into lab. as i’m waiting to load samples onto the hplc (it’s been down this whole week), i ask where i should go internationally. one of my coworkers mentions colombia, medellin specifically. i told him that’s where pablo escobar is from, and he brings up how his grandfather knew pablo escobar. he pulls up narcos where they show an actual photo of pablo and his grandfather is standing next to him. then he shows me pablo signing a book to his grandfather. that shit blew my mind. i went through a phase where i was obsessed with pablo’s life in summer of 2019, and this kind of reignited it. i want to go back and watch el patron del mal on netflix, but since they kicked me off my sister’s account, i’ll have to find a way to pirate it lol.

greece, tokyo, cambodia, singapore, medellin, and switzerland are all on the list.

-ratha, 2:51pm, 7.20.23

same old story, 7.19.23

i came into work early today. when i walked in, nothing was stocked. then when i go to the stock room, nothing is in stock. i wasted an hour trying to look for things, then i find out they changed the passwords on the tablets and the software because of a pm. i’m tired of dealing with these minor inconveniences because as they accumulate, these minor inconveniences turn into an inconvenient life, which is a major inconvenience.

one day i’ll leave it to the lames, but for now (and the near future) i’ll have to put up with it.

-ratha, 10:03am, 7.19.23

been trying, 7.18.23

i sent chaz a song called ‘been tryin.’ he said he thought it was good, then we spoke on the phone about it. it had me feeling motivated, especially after work today. i just can’t stand the thought of working for someone else my whole life, or spend my whole life saving up. i’m trying to get it and i’m trying to get it as soon as possible. he told me stay motivated and stay consistent. the cost of our dreams many times is consistency and discipline. no matter where you begin, those two things are the common thread in realizing and manifesting. i needed a cord for the spx, but it won’t come in until sunday. instead of waiting, i went ahead and recorded without my preamp tonight. so far, i’m loving the tlm, but i can’t wait to hear what it sounds like with the neve.

this could be the start of something special.

i’m hoping it is.

-ratha, 10:21pm, 7.18.23

buying strawberries, 7.17.23

after the gym, i went to stop n shop to pick up a few protein shakes and ice cream. i was on the phone with e and i asked him if i should get ice cream. he said if i do, to get sherbet or halo top because i’m trying to watch my calories, but in his opinion i shouldn’t. taking his advice, i went to the produce section to get fruit. i looked at the strawberries. they looked incredible. there were 4-1lb packages. the deal was buy 2 and get the 3rd free. the issue is that each 1lb package had one rotten strawberry in it. i picked up 3 packages, then went to check out. i forgot my stop n shop card, so i didn’t get the 3rd free. it was too much of a hassle to get one taken off so i just took the l and went home. when i got home and was cutting the strawberries, i took another l because there were more than 1 rotten ones per pound!! i was like this can’t be the same strawberries i had seen in the store. i ended up tossing out around 7 or 8, but it’s all good because the ones that were good, were good as hell.

-ratha, 9:23pm, 7.17.23

seeing cardinals, 7.16.23

years ago, erica told me when her dad passed that she started seeing cardinals everywhere. not only are cardinals the state bird of north carolina, but she said seeing one meant that someone from heaven was visiting you or trying to send you a message. i saw a cardinal or two after dono passed, but i haven’t seen any since. that is, until today. i went to let bagel out and i was talking to my mom. as we are conversing, i notice a red blur fly into my parent’s garden. it was strange because i had never seen one up here before, but sure enough, it was. thinking back on what erica told me back in 2019, i thought of dono. i stared at the bird for a minute or two as it pranced around the garden. thinking it would stay, i went upstairs to grab my phone to take a picture, but when i came back down, bagel was at the door and the cardinal was gone. as i let bagel in and went up to my room, my mind was on the cardinal and how nice it was to hear from dono again.

it’s hard to believe i saw a cardinal this morning in my parent’s garden, though some days it’s harder to believe dono’s no longer here with us.

-ratha, 11:06am, 7.16.23

sunday saturdays, 7.15.23

i woke up today thinking it was sunday. to my surprise, it’s saturday. goes to show how the past few days have been going for me. i took bagel out, then decided to doze off for a few. i ended up waking up at 2:30pm. i cut the grass, walked bagel, got some wingstop, watched mr. cooper, put away laundry, showered, and now i’m writing. since all my family from out of town left, tonight will be the perfect night to hit the studio. i was talking to chaz earlier, and i told him i’d send him something by tomorrow night. i’ve been told him that for a while now, but it’s time to take these things serious and to hold myself to some type of accountability.

-ratha, 11:02pm, 7.15.23

new internet, 7.14.23

we finally made the switch from verizon to xfinity. my dad stayed home yesterday for the installation. i didn’t get a chance to test it last night as when i got back from the work outing, i passed out until 2:30am, but since this morning, so far so good. usually i big up verizon, but even their cellular service has been bad lately. i don’t know what’s going on, but having a good internet provider has been something i was taking for granted up until i moved here.

now that we’ve made the switch and the wifi seems stable, it’ll be a long while before i take good internet for granted again.

thank you, God.

-ratha, 3:03pm, 7.14.23