no sleep works, 4.18.23

the last time i looked at the clock it was 1:03am. when i woke, it was 1:44am. i ended up tossing and turning until the sun began to come out. given it was a ‘lighter’ day at work, i decided to go in early. i got in at 7am, which was the same time a guy from manufacturing got in. i forgot his name, but we had a conversation at the microwaves a few weeks ago and he’s really kind. he forgot his badge, so we badged in together. i set up a tff and maps. we went to maya for lunch where i got the tikka and a mango lassi. when i came home, it took me a while to unwind. i just woke up again after an hour and a half of sleep. doesn’t seem like i’ll be able to fall asleep again, plus if i do, it’ll mess up my sleep schedule which i need to be (somewhat) on track for tomorrow as i have to be in the office anywhere between 6:30am-7:00am. i don’t feel too tired though. i’m thinking i’ll hit the park with bagel, then the gym and call it a night.

let’s hope i’ll sleep better tonight than last night.

-ratha, 2:41pm, 4.18.23

patriot's day, 4.17.23

when gsk took over, they took 4 holidays away from us. one of those was patriot’s day. patriot’s day is the monday where they run the boston marathon. apparently, it’s damn near impossible to get in the city as it’s shut down. because of this, many co-workers (including myself) took liberties of working from home today. it’s misting outside and a bit dreary, but it’s a lot better than being in the office. plus, i like the rain. plus, i can be with bagel. plus, i don’t have to deal with the commute back and forth. plus, i can get more things done at home.

a lot of pluses from being home which means this job comes with a lot more cons than i would want from a career.

-ratha, 12:01pm, 4.17.23

melatonin fevers, 4.16.23

i was playing vince mcmahon one on one in one of those sky courts while he was in one of his business suits, then i woke up.

i gotta lay off the melatonin frfr.

-ratha, 12:36pm, 4.16.23

lucky green, 4.15.23

it’s summer of 2009 and i’m at the mall of america with my family. i see the air jordan dmp 1 pack on sale for $199. i ask my mom if she can buy those shoes for the upcoming school year for me. she agrees and i walk out with the set. a year later during the fall of 2010, my advisory class nominates me for homecoming king. i’m hanging with lance and josh at his house. before we roll out to homecoming, i change into my homecoming outfit at josh’s house. i was wearing the dmp celtics 1’s but left it in the trunk of his car. the next week, i see josh wearing them. long story short, he never gave them back lmao. because the original release was a part of a commemorative pack, i never thought i’d see them again. luckily for me, nike decided to rerelease them. they dropped today at 10am. i overslept until 12:30pm. when i woke, they were still on the site. i called jd sports at northshore, and the girl said they had a size 11 in stock. i stopped by and copped a pair. when i got home, i put on breaking bad and laced them with black laces like it was 2009 again.

i don’t know where i’ll wear them to, but they’ll definitely be unds soon.

-ratha, 10:59pm, 4.15.23

hooping after work, 4.14.23

i hooped after work for 2.5 hours today. i was gassed. i need to work on my shot and my drive. really just get back to muscle memory for shooting. other than that, the endurance needs to be improved, too. heart health is just as important, if not more, than anything else. the zion’s i’ve been wearing have been rubbing my pinky toes a little raw. maybe i should wear thicker socks, but i’ve been wearing my nba’s. if it keeps happening, i’ll have to switch hoop shoes. i’ve been tempted to try the 37’s, so maybe this is my excuse to do so.

but if i switch hoop shoes, that means i need to wear them, which means i’ll have to spend more time on the court, which means i’ll be improving my cardio, which is a good thing.

-ratha, 8:23pm, 4.14.23

waking up to light, 4.13.23

i love that there’s enough daylight for naps now. i got home at 5:30pm and took a quick nap until 6:15pm or so. when i woke up, it was still light outside. a month ago, it’d be dark before i got home. chaz called as i was walking bagel. he was in a walmart in ohio during one of his stops. he asked about my job, to which i told him i wasn’t really feeling it. i told chaz about signing up for my llc and taking music seriously. i had to tell him how inspired i was seeing him record on the road in the back of his truck. chaz told me we talked about doing music, now we gotta actually do it. he has an ep dropping in summer and another one dropping late fall/early winter. i’m hoping to drop a song in june/july. i’ve been researching equipment for a few weeks during my downtime. i think i’m going with a tlm-103 microphone with a daking pre amp. i have to update my laptop as well, but i’m going to consult with chan before making a final decision. after our conversation, i ended up going to the gym. i’ve been feeling good lately, and i think it’s because i’ve been consistent in the gym and in slowly improving my diet.

this warm weather has me inspired.

-ratha, 9:23pm, 4.13.23

baseline miles, 4.12.23

with the weather getting nice, i went to ipswich today to run a mile. i wanted to see where my baseline was before i set my goal for the summer. one mile is two rounds, which means each round is approximately half a mile. about a quarter of the way through, my lungs were burning. i hadn’t felt this since i started running a mile a day for lent last year. when i finished my 2 laps, my mile time was 8:37. it wasn’t bad at all, considering i was expecting 10+ minutes. if i run a mile three times a week, i’m thinking i can get my mile down to below 7 minutes.

though i’m optimistic i’ll be under 7 minutes by end of summer, i’ll be sure to report back in september.

-ratha, 8:23pm, 4.12.23

trying the new al pastor, 4.11.23

chipotle is all around top tier. i tried their new al pastor chicken today. it was spicy, but flavorful. definitely a good switch-up from their regular chicken. the vinaigrette was on the salty side tonight, but my bowl was still so good. also, they have this red drink that is as good as it is unique. it’s called something fresca. if you haven’t tried it, i definitely recommend it.

i didn’t know what to eat for dinner tonight, but chipotle proves itself to never be a bad option by any means.

-ratha, 8:11pm, 4.11.23

packages from dono, 4.10.23

when i got home from work, there was a big package near my garage. i didn’t order anything so i thought it was for my cousin or my mom. when i went to put it on the kitchen island, i looked at who it was for. to my surprise, it was for me from mr. suitt. i brought it upstairs and knew exactly what it was. it was a figure dono preordered summer of 2020. mr. suitt said he was changing donovan’s sheets in his room downstairs. when he came back in, the figure fell on the bed. he said that was a sign and that it was dono telling him to send me that figure. we had a good conversation for half an hour. mr. suitt told me his plans to buy hot rods now instead of muscle cars. he also is renovating the house. it seems he’s living his best life, which is all i can hope for. i miss dono so much. somedays when i think about it, it’s still unreal. i’ve gotten used to not seeing him since i’ve moved to boston, so when i touchdown in 919 i still think to call him out of habit, hoping he’ll pick up but i know what awaits me on the other side of the line. whether it’s for a while or even for a moment, there’s not a day that goes by that i don’t think of him.

some days are harder than others, but a surprise package from fayetteville made today a bit easier.

-ratha, 10:03pm, 4.10.23

real life dreams, 4.9.23

first and foremost, happy easter. i celebrated by eating two packs of fundip when i woke up considering i gave up candy for lent.

okay, so on to more pressing matters.

it’s been a few days but i have to write about this dream i had a month ago. i was exiting the garage at work when i got into a fender bender with an older, white bmw. after resolving that situation, driving out the garage i notice a white truck idling. i don’t make anything of it. as i stop by walmart on the way home, i notice the same white truck idling. the radio says there’s a serial killer in the boston area driving a white truck. i thought it was coincidence, so i drove home. when i got home, i went inside to grab something (the details are getting fuzzy). what was strange is i went inside through the back door. i never do this in real life. by this time, the sun had set, and the evening had begun. as i come back out to the sequoia, there’s crying in my passenger seat. i ask what’s wrong, to which i’m told ‘he’s back.’ when i look up, the same white truck is idling in my driveway adjacent to us. that’s when i woke up.

a few days ago, i drove into work. i backed in my car like i always do. when i got out, i saw the exact bmw i had gotten into a fender bender with in my dream. it was a carbon copy. i was stunned. i had never seen this car in the past 2+ years i’ve worked in cambridge. it caught me so off-guard, i had full body chills. i’m the type to look for meaning or signs/messages in dreams. i don’t know what it means or what significance it posed to me in the moment, but seeing something in my dreams before seeing it in real-life was surreal. especially given the circumstances of the dream i had. i needed to write this to get this off my chest because it’s been lingering on my mind.

though i search for meaning through my dreams, i’m hoping this one means nothing.

-ratha, 11:51pm, 4.9.23