sleeping for days, 3.20.23

yesterday, i woke up early at 7:20am to let bagel out. after he came back in, i slept until 12:00pm. still tired, i took another nap from 2pm-4:30pm. thinking i had to get up, i walked bagel then ran to target for some to-go kleenex. they didn’t have them there, so i went to walmart. walmart didn’t have them either. i was contemplating driving to the target in woburn, but i was so hungry i went to uburger in andover. i ended up falling asleep at 12:30am, waking up at 3:00am (because my auntie, uncle, and cousin were getting ready to go to work) then slept until 8:30am. i’m writing this from work as i attend a presentation but i am so tired. i can’t wait to get off, walk bagel, then go right to bed.

-ratha, 10:55am, 3.20.23

almost there, 3.19.23

when i stepped out yesterday, it was almost 50 degrees. bagel and i were walking without our jackets for the first time in months. i was in a hoodie feeling good. i expected the same today, but it was windy and chilly. we keep getting teased with this good weather and it’s killing me. i’m ready for the consistent 70 degree-only-shorts-no-sleeves-weather.

it’s not here yet, but it’s right around the corner and i cannot wait.

-ratha, 12:44pm, 3.19.23

2nd round exits, 3.18.23

duke lost to tennessee earlier this afternoon. i fell asleep towards the end of the first half and woke up right at the start of the 2nd half. i’m extremely superstitious when i watch sports. if i feel tired or fall asleep, it’s always a bad sign and today was no different. we suffered a round of 32 exit, similar to 2017 in south carolina vs south carolina. the gamecocks went on to go to the final four if i remember, so the loss wasn’t all too bad. though we got bounced and considering coach k retired last year, we went on to be undefeated at home, undefeated when the team is healthy, and we were acc tourney champions. now that i’m looking at it, this season was definitely a win.

looking at the bright side isn’t so bad after all.

-ratha, 5:32pm, 3.18.23

busted brackets, 3.17.23

last year i was top 10,000 or something when it came down to the final four, but this year is a whole different story. my only hope is duke wins for me to win my bracketology challenge, which is the goal regardless because everything else isn’t real. but damn, by 3pm my bracket was fucked. 3pm??? how did uva lose to furman?? then princeton took down arizona, smh.

though bracketology has been tough this year, i have to remember i could always be a carolina fan lmaooo.

-ratha, 1:30pm, 3.17.23

work records, 3.16.23

i had to drop mom, dad, ta, oum, and ming off at the airport this morning. they’re headed to houston for oum’s funeral. i wish i could’ve made it, but i have to stay behind with bagel and our family that moved from cambodia. we left shortly after 4am and got there at 4:45am. there was traffic/congestion heading into the terminals. i came into work to start filtration on a 600 mg maps. what was crazy was as i was pulling in, mr. rob from facilities pulled in right behind me. it’s currently 5:08am and i’ve never been here this early. this is a personal record for me, but i don’t know if it’s one that’ll get noticed or one that i’m proud of, but i do like when the lab is empty and i can be here without having to engage in the superficial social aspect that comes with being in a professional environment.

at the end of the day, the work is getting done and that’s all that matters, right?

-ratha, 5:10am, 3.16.23

mindless wednesdays, 3.15.23

it’s wednesday in the month of march in the year of 2023. march madness has just begun. work wasn’t too bad today. i went in a little late and left on time. when i got home, my auntie was there saying how bagel ran out the door when she opened it up. i walked upstairs and took a nap. when i got up, i walked bagel, then fed him. my uncle asked me if i was eating hotpot with the family. i told him i was going to the gym. i called e after on my way to mcdonald’s. i have to wash towels and my whites. i finished my discover weekly playlist from spotify. baby by 1takejay and kalan.frfr is my favorite off the list. i’ve been texting my cousin about the relationship between expectations and settling for the past 30 minutes. i also have to find two truths and lie for an icebreaker during a work-sponsored lunch tomorrow. hmm, what else? i’m trying to think of mindless details about my day that i may find important in the future should i decide to revisit this time of my life, but i can’t for now.

i’ll shower then end the night with some reading on the latest update concerning the idaho murders.

-ratha, 10:11pm, 3.15.23

melting, 3.14.23

we’re supposed to get snow tonight and into tomorrow morning. it is supposed to be substantial for some areas. i’m hoping we get hit with it because last year, all the heavy snow days were on the weekends. this year, we haven’t had any heavy snow days. today is my long day because i’m processing 600mg maps, but it would be nice to have tomorrow off. if it isn’t evident how i feel about work, then it may not be meant to be how i keep finding myself here.

at least that’s what i’m getting from mother nature, but father time is telling me a different story.

-ratha, 3:25pm, 3.14.23

apple carplay, 3.13.23

i saw an instagram ad with an external apple carplay radio screen. driving in rentals the past year, i convinced myself i needed carplay. it came in the mail today and i was able to install it. the installation was simple, but it was the mounting which gave me issues. i spent an hour playing around with mounting options before i settled on having it in the middle of my dash, which was what i wanted to avoid in the first place. i must admit, it isn’t as bad as i thought it would be. since my dash is inclined, i would’ve seen the hood had the screen not been there, so i’m not missing too much road visibility. i drove to the gym, then chick-fil-a afterwards. i couldn’t stop staring at the screen lol. apple carplay is too convenient. i was able to hook up the system to my aux/original radio, so i could still control the bass/treble to my liking which was a big thing for me. not only that, now i’m able to charge my phone and play music rather than choosing either/or. i remember working on the sequoia in charlotte, then sitting in the garage vibing afterwards. that’s exactly what i did when i pulled back to the cribo. i sat in the car listening to sy ari’s new album thinking about life.

the sun is setting later, the weather is getting warmer, and my life is getting better.

-ratha, 9:12pm, 3.13.23

40 million, 3.12.23

in 2011 after graduating high school, i went to socal for a week and a half. there, i stayed with my uncle and my auntie in long beach along with a few of my cousins. we were hanging in the room when my auntie came through. i don’t know what we were talking about, but i remember her telling me her house costed 40 million. she doesn’t speak english very well, just about as well as i speak khmer. actually, she spoke better english than i speak khmer. regardless, i remember looking at my cousin shaking my head like is she for real?? my cousin translated 40 million to my auntie in khmer. that’s when we all laughed. really the real number was 40 or 400k, something like that. i remember that moment vividly after all these years. not only is it a vivid memory, it’s a good one. when i woke up to let bagel out, my dad was standing at the fridge. he peeped over the door to see who was coming through the hallway, and of course it was me. he told me my auntie passed away earlier this morning. it shocked me. i didn’t know what to say, or how to react. 2011 was the last time i saw her. i always thought i’d see her again and we’d laugh about that one time at her house or how she would tell me how tall i am or how i’d ask her how living in houston was for her. it’s all in my head now. life is so fragile and i hate being reminded of this.

as i let bagel out, i thought of 40 million and i laughed for a bit in between the shock and the grief we all began carrying this morning.

-ratha, 11:46am, 3.12.23

the interior lights, 3.11.23

it’s amazing how you can find whatever it is you need to know on youtube. from recipes, to tutorials, to education, youtube has everything. on my dash and temperature gauges in the sequoia, i’ve noticed a few dark spots. they didn’t bother me until someone on a sequoia facebook group mentioned how they replaced the cluster lights, and it was one of the best, cheap mods/maintenance they did. i ordered some lights on amazon, watched a few youtube videos, and got to work today. what was 5 minutes in a youtube video was 2.5 hours in real life for me. the lights weren’t always oriented the correct way, so it took multiple trials and several errors to get it right. i was able to connect the lights how they’re supposed to be right before the sun went down. i don’t know how to feel about it because there are specific lights in the sequoia that cannot be changed from green. the replacement lights i ordered are white. adding on, the replacements are led so they are much brighter than the original green lights left on my gauge clusters.

different colors aside, i’ll have to get used to it because i can definitely appreciate something new.

-ratha, 7:23pm, 3.11.23