kindness at teresa's, 3.10.23

craving a ribeye, i went to a local steakhouse located on a golf course called teresa’s prime. when i called them for a reservation, the guy told me there was only one seat left at the bar. otherwise i’d have to wait until 8:30pm. it was 6:20pm at the time, so i went ahead and booked it. i changed my clothes then pulled up at 6:50pm. i told him my name was david, and he recognized me when i walked in the door. everyone there was so nice. he walked me to my seat. the bartenders got me bread, a water, and menus. i got calamari for a starter along with a ribeye and fries for my meal. the guy who took my reservation even came to check on me during my meal. i got into conversation with the gentleman sitting next to me. he asked what i ordered. i went on to tell him i’m trying new steakhouses around the area. he gave me 3 recommendations. pellana in peabody, the bancroft in burlington, and davio’s in lynnfield. his wife asked where i was from and i told her north carolina, but i’ve been here for 2 years. they asked if i went skiing or did any outdoor activities. i told them i’d hike in the appalachains here and there back home, but i wanted to try the white mountains. he told me to be careful because people still die in the white mountains, even in the summertime. he says people try to get to each of the 5 peaks, but it’s not as easy as it sounds. considering maura murray and the book she had in her car, hearing how people died in the white mountains tonight made me more nervous to see them than i already was. we left around the same time, but i told him i’d see him around as i’m on a steakhouse wave. the ribeye was cooked very well, though i wish it was seasoned a bit more. the fries were good. the calamari was excellent, even better than del frisco’s. when i walked out, i thought how it’s been a while since i’ve been out to eat somewhere new alone.

though i value time to myself, it felt like something was missing.

-ratha, 9:31pm, 3.10.23

gotta do something, 3.9.23

when my dad got home yesterday, i told him about the rmv and getting pulled over. for whatever reason, the conversation shifts to our bonuses. we’re supposed to get paid this friday for last year’s bonus. i told my dad how frustrated i was about my end of year review and getting fucked over by one of my coworkers. he tells me don’t worry about the small things, worry about the bigger picture. he truly is the goat. just hearing him say that put things into perspective for me. he told me his bonus percentage and i’m like damn, that’s crazy bread. i don’t know how much he makes, but i do know his bonus is prolly more than what i get paid in a year. like i said, this man is the goat. then he urged me to go back to school so i can be where he is at. i went on a walk with bagel after our conversation. i called e. we talked about my aspirations. we’ve been doing this a lot lately. e tells me whatever happens, just do something. he says don’t get stuck and to keep moving. it’s kind like what a$ told me in my charlotte hotel room last year. money told me to keep my foot on the gas. i haven’t even started the car yet, but believe that ignition is turning in the immediate future.

i used to question god and the universe when they’d send me signs, but these days it’s clearer than ever. 

-ratha, 12:21pm, 3.9.23

sorting out the rmv, 3.8.23

i was on the way to work, but god intervened. i was pulled over right as i turned off central. the cop told me my registration has been out since september. i knew, but i already handled it, though apparently, i didn’t. when i pulled up my account with the rmv, it said there was no eligible vehicle corresponding to my license. the officer called his sergeant. he pulled up, then said he did a registration this morning. i showed him what the rmv website said. they told me to go home and handle it. i asked if i could go to the city for work. the officer said whatever i do is on me, because if i get pulled, then they’d tow my car. it was dope they let me make my decision. i decided to take my chances and drive to the rmv. i pulled up and they were super helpful. there was a glitch in the system where my license didn’t match up to my plate. they fixed it and i was out the door. the lady who checked me out was the same lady that registered my car when i first moved here. she was the one who told me to keep my jacket on until may, way back in 2021. she was as nice to me now as she was then. it is true when they say you remember how people make you feel.

afterwards, i washed my car (to get the salt off from the frame) then went to fedex to drop off a few packages. as i’m driving, i see the same officer waving traffic. he notices my car. i let my window down and let him know the rmv fixed my issue. as i’m driving off, i see him peep the sticker on my license plate. i drop off some packages and browse amazon in the parking lot. a fedex worker walks out and says the sequoia is clean. he asked when i got it, and i told him it’s been in the family since 2004, but i moved to new england in 2021. he says he has a tundra, same year. we get to talking and he introduces himself as mr. will. not only that, he mentions how the guy who works on his car is from honduras and that he doesn’t judge people where they’re from or who they are as long as they don’t lie or steal. his sister called him and right before he left, he smiled and told me he was going to another fedex to steal tables lmao. by this point, it was pointless to go to work, so i came home.

now i’m writing, thinking of how good it is to not be in cambridge working to fulfill someone else’s dream.

-ratha, 3:15pm, 3.8.23

philip's comeback, 3.7.23

i came across a tweet that said phil reached out to the 49ers and the dolphins late this year in case they needed him. i know brock was good, but man, phil would’ve brought the 49ers to the promise land. he still got it. 40 years old, but he’s as durable as anybody and his qb intelligence is off the charts. man, i would do anything to see phil play again. i also needa see him win a championship. people shit on him for not getting his ring, but if they look at his career and the team he played for, nobody, not even brady would be who he is under phil circumstances.

philip rivers forever, let’s see what 2023 brings.

-ratha, 5:22pm, 3.7.23

work posters, 3.6.23

walking to the 2nd floor storage, i saw a work poster in the garbage. i haven’t seen one of those in years. i feel like they’re more of 1990’s/early 2000’s thing. the poster had a picture of a team rowing a boat captioned ‘get to work.’ under it read, 'you aren’t being paid to believe in the power of your dreams.’ i had to sit there and think about it. i didn’t understand it, but i think it means believing is different than doing. pretty much pay yourself the mind of doing the work to achieve your dreams rather than only believing. believing is one thing, but it isn’t the whole thing. lately people have been asking about music and writing that i’ve been working on. these reoccurrences can’t be simply coincidental. it’s like i know what god is telling me, but i need to see it from the universe, too. i guess what i’m trying to say is i’m giving myself every excuse not to go for it, when in reality, i have every reason to jump off the deep end with my beliefs.

after all, isn’t the existence of the deep end enough proof we were meant to swim?

-ratha, 1:32pm, 3.6.23

h-mart parking, 3.5.23

parking at h-mart is such a hassle for two reasons. one, there are never enough parking spots. two, everybody here is asian so you know how that goes. we get in and naturally i forget a cart, so i went back outside to get one. asian supermarkets are top-tier. i love the packaging, i love the different flavors, i love everything about asian groceries. i ended up getting honey butter chips, honey twists, and yan yans. my mom always got me yan yans when i was younger so it’s tradition when i see them to buy one. they didn’t have the strawberry, but they had the chocolate and the vanilla. i always get the vanilla, that’s been my favorite and will most likely always be my favorite. i saw some candy i wanted, but i had to hold back because i gave up candy for lent. the cravings are getting lighter, but they’re still there. we ended up checking out then checking the gift shop in the front. after a 2-minute brisk walk to the car, we decided to hit sura to end the night.

yan yan and galbi on a sunday??

definitely worth the parking inconveniences.

-ratha, 10:21pm 3.5.23

sweeping carolina, 3.4.23

duke beat unc at the dean dome tonight. that’s 2-0 on the season. congrats coach scheyer. he also brought us an undefeated record at home. i missed watching the game with my dad. it was tradition growing up, so it means that much more these days when we get to see duke play carolina. i cooked hot dogs, went to mcdonalds for fries, and picked up 4 mango lassis from maya. i swear, a carolina loss with a mango lassi to celebrate is like jordan with champagne after the finals. time to prep for conference play next week. i’m glad the acc tourney is back where it belongs in greensboro, but i’m disappointed because nyc was only a few hours away. then it’s march madness the week after.

let’s dance.

si666666666666666hts.

-ratha, 10:03pm, 3.4.23

eating kaw, 3.3.23

after eating nothing for lunch and mid pizza after work yesterday, my mom cooking kaw (my favorite cambodian dish) for dinner tonight was well-appreciated. she made it with pork feet, hard-boiled eggs, bamboo, and chicken. it’s toooooooo fye. i usually don’t eat the same meal twice a day, but i’ll be eating this for the whole weekend.

happy friday if you’re reading this.

also, while you’re here, i hope the snow storm this weekend doesn’t cause too many issues wherever you may be.

-ratha, 9:13pm, 3.3.23

the free pizza, 3.2.23

i got an email saying they had pizza wednesday on the third-floor cafe yesterday. i went up there and took one whole box for jennifer, alan, and i. the pizza was not that good, but it was free, so it wasn’t that bad. i took half the pizza home. today i don’t know what i’ll eat for dinner, but it very well might be leftover pepperoni pizza.

the reason i’m thinking this?

i forgot to bring food to work and i’m starving thinking of what i could eat when i touch down.

-ratha, 3:12pm, 3.2.23

seeing signs, 3.1.23

i saw ms. sam in the lab towards the end of my day. i asked how she has been and she told me she just came from florida for her niece’s funeral. she said she was sad, but that life has to go on. it put a damper on my day because ms. sam is the sweetest. i’ve known her for almost 20 years. to go from a kid to working with her is quite amazing actually. before i left the conversation, she told me to live my life and do what i enjoy doing. it sounds cliche, but hearing it from her comforted my soul. she said life was too short to be wasting it. considering the conundrum i’m in, i took it as a sign from god. as i’m leaving work, after doing 40 on the treddy, i call e. we talk about my music again. he says i have to put something out. anything is possible, but it wouldn’t be unless i took action. we talked about promotion of my music and how we think things will work out, but he said a great idea is just an idea at the end of the day. it’s all about execution. then it reminded me of a convo i had with franko years ago. he told me something similar, if not identical. he said ideas that remain ideas don’t change anything. it always resonated with me, but on the phone tonight, i told e i was scared. i told him how i feel confident in every other aspect of my life besides music and that it was strange. e agreed. i think these days though my back is against the wall, and the more i admit things not only to myself, but to the world, the more i’m ready to take the leap of faith.

sometimes the kid who is afraid of heights grows his wings as he learns to fly.

what a story i can’t wait to tell.

-ratha, 11:18pm, 3.1.23