i get tearful when i look at bagel some nights. i don’t know whether to feel sorry for him, thankful for him, or to feel extremely in love with him. perhaps i feel all three at once, and then some.
not many people know this, but getting bagel was an impulsive decision. i had never been around dogs, and my family had never had one. for the first year of his life, i didn’t know what i was doing while i was raising him. i lost my temper quite a few times. ashamed to admit it, but i’ve hit him on a handful of occasions. very hard, undeservingly hard. i have to live with that for the rest of my life, deservingly so. these past few years haven’t been perfect, but they’ve been quite wonderful. we run everyday. we play in the back yard. we’ve been growing together. me more than him, which is something i’m appreciative of.
bagel has taught me patience and the value of second chances. i’ve never been so adamant on making things right. our relationship has helped me become who i’ve been wanting to become. of course this is an ongoing process, but i will always credit that to him. i love bagel very much because he is a glimmer of honesty, love, and hope all wrapped into four legs and a tail.
so many emotions and not enough words. then again, emotions are meant to be felt, not defined nor explained.
-ratha, 2:58am, 4.19.17