last night at the diamond, we spoke on the last guy you dated. he’s been so in and out of your life for the past two years, i find it hard to understand why you still fool with him. i guess everybody has their reasons whether they know or understand them or not. i advised you to let it go. i mean, i wouldn’t involve myself with someone who’s unstable. then again, i have before, so who am i to give advice? at times i think i know better, better enough to give unsolicited advice, but i know better than to think i know better.
i’ve been spending all my free time alone these days working on a life-long dream that i didn’t have anything to contribute to our conversation of recent flings so i got to telling you about a few women i’ve been with this past year. i know, i know. i told myself i wouldn’t talk about women to other women, but it’s habit at this point. i even showed you one of them on facebook who deleted me and then tried to request me again. then i showed you a few text messages in my inbox. i got a bit carried way. all i can do at this point is forgive myself and attempt to do better.
you got a gyro, me a burger. we shared fries before we went back to your place, where you simulated how you sleep. you sleep with the TV on, with the volume right around 19. i honestly thought about mentioning how this one girl with silk sheets used to sleep with the tv on, but i decided not to. you told me the story of how you got accustomed to sleeping with a television on and i compared it to being a very expensive night light before i inspected the rice cooker your mom bought for you that was sitting on the ground by your bed. i eventually left around 4am. you told me to text you when i got home, and although i did, you didn’t respond.
i think you might’ve fell asleep with the tv on.
-ratha, 11:15am, 4.1.17