free cookies, 2.27.25

binney will have events every month or every other month which is a convenient perk. when they do, it’s nice to take a break from work and get some free stuff. today, it was a small business that makes cookies. she was really nice and had a bunch of diy decoration cookie kits in the west lobby. i got a package, then went to smartlabs to get some korean food for their thank you thursday lunches. the korean food was good, especially with the shaved carrots and the yum yum sauce and the cookies were the perfect dessert after. lowkey, the perks of binney street tenants along with smartlabs are keeping me here.

i can’t wait for the opening day cookout in april.

-ratha, 3:24pm, 2.27.25

different ways, different paths, 2.26.25

there’s so many different ways i could take the music at this point. i released transparency because i wanted to show how much i loved rapping to make a 5-minute song that’s bar-heavy. the best feedback i got was that it doesn’t feel like a 5-minute song, which is the ultimate compliment. i’ve been recording different songs thinking of what i’ll release in march, but i think i’ve settled on one called mohegan sunrises. i hope when people listen to my songs they can tell i love rapping, but also i hope they can appreciate my writing most of all. lately, i’ve been wanting to show my ability to songwrite, which is a bit different than rapping, and i think mohegan sunrises does that. i also want to get more into my r&b bag, but i’m limited because i can’t really sing lol.

we’ll see how it goes next month for the march release.

-ratha, 9:28pm, 2.26.25

the physicals, 2.25.25

$$$4u physicals came in today. i played them in the car, and they sound so much better than spotify, youtube, and apple music. what happened to cds? i loved buying music because i love supporting the artists i love, the quality of sound, and partially because of ownership. it’s good to own music because everything is subscription-based these days and i’m not so sure i’m a fan. my favorite songs keep changing the more i listen to the album. i think that’s the goal if you’re an artist, to have the consumer grow and find their way through the art. my favorite part of the whole album is the 2nd part of raining in houston, but another favorite its glorious. ice spice has a great talking voice and drake’s 1st verse might be one of his best. “i know your man is waste but you won’t look him in the face and say ‘you’re wasting my 20’s away.’” that’s too tough. it’s all i’ve been listening to lately, but i know there are other favorites waiting for me in due time.

-ratha, 7:17pm, 2.25.25

indecisive eats, 2.24.25

when they say women never know what they want to eat, it’s so true in my experience lol. it’s never an issue because i’m a planner and an initiator, but i do understand because i’m similar in some instances. most days, i only eat once a day. it’s not intentional, rather that’s how things work themselves out. i don’t know the science behind it, but when i’m super hungry, i become so indecisive. i find it difficult to choose a spot, primarily because a lot of places sound amazing due to an empty stomach. i sit and look up places to eat and because all of them look good, none of them look good if that makes any sense. then i close my phone, do something else, then come back to look for restaurants only to repeat this cycle a few more times before leaving the house. sometimes i’ll leave the house with no gameplan and drive around for 30 or 40 minutes. it gets really bad. i’m rambling, but point is, choosing a place when you’re hungry is more difficult than it seems.

theoretically, you would think it’d be easy to do so off of the nature of the situation, but theories don’t always translate into application.

-ratha, 8:11pm, 2.24.25

icy sundays, 2.23.25

these weekends sure do go by quick, don’t they? it was a little warmer today (42 degrees) so bagel and i went to the park. luckily, they shoveled the walkways, but the fields were icy. we did two rounds, then filled up on gas, and came home. i’m about to feed him and head to the dungeon to do some writing/recording.

easy sundays, what could be better?

-ratha, 4:44pm, 2.23.25

foreign khmer, 2.22.25

i scroll on tiktok and i’ll come across westerner’s speaking khmer. it trips me out every time lol. most of the time it’s white girls, which is surprising to me because i feel khmer is so niche. just cambodia in general. people known of thailand and vietnam, but cambodia usually forgotten. there’s nothing wrong with that, it’s simply an observation. i know society these days gets sensitive when it comes to culture, but i actually love when people embrace my culture. it makes me feel good. i hope it can positively add to their lives whether through tradition or food or clothing or whatever the case may be.

seeing non-native khmer speakers speak my language is always entertaining to me, but it also lets me know i have to step my game up.

-ratha, 10:03pm, 2.22.25

self-dates, 2.21.25

i love taking myself out whether it be to eat, to do an activity, to shop, or even all three at once. tonight, i bought some shoes from dick’s at rockingham for pick-up. while i was there, i decided to eat at red robin’s. i absolutely love red robin’s. they have the best burgers and such good honey mustard. plus, the unlimited fries. you can’t forget that. i crave red robin’s but never go because they close early at 8pm and though new hampshire is 20 minutes away, it’s always too far by the time i’m hungry. i was on the phone with chan talking about travel plans (or lack thereof due to all the aviation woes these past two months) before they sat me. i got the chicken fingers with honey mustard and it did not disappoint whatsoever. i even treated myself to a slice of lemon cake afterwards. i love spending time alone, which is strange because i never would have said that growing up, though looking back i did spend a lot of time alone as a kid. not in a bad way, but in a ‘that’s just how it happened’ way. as if unlimited fries and lemon cake weren’t enough, i got an acai smoothie from playa bowl afterwards.

it was a chilly, yet beautiful night in new hampshire.

-ratha, 9:23pm, 2.21.25

studio sessions, 2.20.25

one day, these studio sessions are going to pay off. i’ve heard success is very slow, then all of a sudden. even through the ups and downs, i do love the process but it’d be nice to experience ‘all of a sudden’ sometime in the near future. chaz told me it’ll happen and that i’m chasing right now, and he’s right. the journey just gets discouraging at times, you know? i really have no other option because i cannot do biotech until 65. chasing a dream is like having two full-time jobs. i work a 9-5, then come home for a 5-9. something has to budge man.

i feel kind of lost right now, but i think i’m finding my way.

one studio session at a time.

-ratha, 11:11pm, 2.20.25

hibachi tunes, 2.19.25

after the gym tonight, i wanted something really good to eat. i drove to danvers to go to an all you can eat hibachi. i ordered the steak and chicken hibachi, then a plate of chicken-only hibachi. the food was as good as i was hoping it was. plus, the music was incredible. i don’t know what radio or what playlist they were playing, but it was so eclectic. from mistletoe by justin bieber to candy rain by soul for real to chasing you by morgan wallen and even to donell jones’ u know what’s up, the music was going crazy. i stopped by tropical smoothie cafe afterwards for dessert to end the night.

i have to hit the studio tonight and i’ll have some extra time to do so because i’m taking the first half of the day to wfh.

-ratha, 9:32pm, 2.19.25

still here, 2.18.25

i was using the nanodrop on the other side of the lab measuring a280. i hadn’t been on that side in a while, but they had switched computers. kristy told me then she mentioned how she’s surprised i’m still here. i was like wym lol and she told me how i mentioned to her how i didn’t like the job and that i was trying to get out of science. i was lowkey surprised as we haven’t spoken in so long. she has a great memory, honestly. i told her i’m still trying to get out but need to get some motion from the music and writing first, which i’m hoping is this year. she then asked what motion meant so i explained it then we spoke some more before i saw priyank and we began talking about nba. when she first said she was surprised i was still here, my first thought was ‘damn, is it really that obvious, is it really written all over my face?’

maybe it is, maybe it isn’t, though i hope it’s not too obvious to the people who don’t know my aspirations.

-ratha, 3:11pm, 2.18.25