shared stories, 10.14.24

it always makes me so appreciated when someone shares my writing on their story. it makes me feel like i’m making a difference, if not, at least people know they’re not alone in what they feel and sometimes that’s all it takes to keep going some days.

-ratha, 11:02pm, 10.14.24

transparency, 10.13.24

i have this song called transparency i wrote, but i feel it’s too short. tonight, i went back and messed with the beat. i added an extra verse, which made the song a little over 5 minutes. i don’t know if it’s too long, but i miss longer songs and i love it. i have to finish writing the third verse, then record it. hopefully i’ll get transparency out by end of october. if not, i’ll double-up in november.

new music soon!

-ratha, 11:46pm, 10.13.24

encouraging compliments, 10.12.24

someone told me last night they didn’t know what to expect when listening to my music in terms of sound, but they were expecting it to be like most other artists attempting to do music which was for it to be bad. then when they listened to my songs, they were surprised and said it was actually good. comments like this make me feel good. not because it’s a compliment, but because it’s encouraging. i’m a new artist so i’m very insecure about my music. i put out what i can to the best of my ability at the time and i roll with it because if i listen to my insecurity, i’d give myself reasons to not pursue this music thing. feeling confident enough to release music without giving in to the pressures of perfection stemming from insecurity is a fine line to walk on, but i think i’m getting better at balancing myself as time passes.

in a world of subjective truths, i’d like to believe there’s a bit of objectiveness in the things i’m being told because even if i’m insecure, being naive somewhat makes up for it.

-ratha, 1:56pm, 10.12.24

kbbq on a friday night, 10.11.24

with today off, i went to costco with my mom. i almost bought a cinnamon roll casserole, but i passed on it because i’m trying to be “better.” now that i’m out of the store, i regret it, but i can always go back. i’m feeling too lazy to do so, so maybe that’s a good indicator of how much i actually want it though it’s on my mind. afterwards, i went to dinner with chan at sura. the food was incredible and i definitely indulged. i had two milkis as well as probably a few pounds of galbi. when we were cashing out, i went to the boba spot across the street. the guy was cambodian and his wife owned the store. he asked me if i knew how to speak khmer. i told him very little, but i can understand it. he said he doesn’t like it because even in cambodia, kids are speaking english now because it’s seen as a status thing. i was like damn, we can’t even preserve the culture here, much less back in the motherland smh. i do want to learn khmer, that and spanish are the languages i want to be able to speak. afterwards, we all went home.

it’s been hours and i’m still full af, which means i got the most of my money so that’s a good thing?

-ratha, 11:24pm, 10.11.24

the missing earbuds, 10.10.24

months ago, my earbuds went missing. i remember searching everywhere for them for close to a week. i did the find my, but they were dead, so it was of no use. i looked at the gym, in the cars, and even in my hoodie pockets. because i couldn’t find them, i ordered a new pair. i had an amazon giftcard so i figured this would be a good time to use it. this was back in may. today as i’m putting on a hoodie for work, something falls out. i look, and it’s the headphones i’ve been searching for. i could’ve sworn i patted down every hoodie i had, but not good enough obviously. i charged them up and they work perfectly. i guess i have two pairs now which is a convenient, yet accidental, luxury. months after giving up looking for them, they showed up. this must be what solving a cold case feels like.

somewhat.

-ratha, 9:32am, 10.10.24

oktoberfest at work, 10.9.24

we had a trivia afternoon / oktoberfest at work today. they catered some mozzarella sticks, pretzels, and fruit. i went for the fruit and the yogurt. i don’t know what type of yogurt it is, but they’ve had it once before and it’s nothing short of incredible. it’s pink so i assume it’s strawberry, but even then, who knows. i just know i like it. a lot. sadly, when you’re stuck in a 9-5, things like this are the highlight of your day.

but then again, it’s good to take any win you can get in this life regardless of the predicament we find ourselves in.

-ratha, 3:11pm, 10.9.24

plus fives, 10.8.24

chan and 5 of his friends flew into boston today. they are staying with us, and they came because of a japanese rock concert up here. they are here until saturday, but i feel bad because we started a new project at work and i will be swamped until then. i think i’ll take friday off, but i wish i could show them around the city these next few days. when the writing and the music work out, i won’t have to worry about these things anymore.

i can’t wait.

-ratha, 7:43pm, 10.8.24

the ghost peppers, 10.7.24

my parents grow peppers every year as my dad favors spicy food. a few years ago, they grew carolina reapers, but i don’t think they’ve grown any since. they have been growing ghost peppers every year, though. though i’m getting into spicy food (slowly, but surely), my tolerance is very low. some would even go to say extremely low. there are freshly-picked ghost peppers on the counter and my intrusive thoughts are wondering what it would be like to eat one of them. like how bad can it be? i should probably go to bed, but if i eat one of these i’ll be going somewhere else lol.

intrusive thoughts, what are we to do with them?

-ratha, 10:49pm, 10.7.24

bottega fragrance, 10.6.24

bottega veneta just released 5 new fragrances. i ordered the sample kit and they came in today. upon first smell, i like all but 1. i need to wear them out to see which ones i really like, then make a decision from there. i go through these phases where i buy certain items, use them, then re-up on a random day some years later. i bought hella fragrances, well, 3 back in the winter of 2022. i still have yet to use those up, but some are running out so this release by bottega is in good timing.

-ratha, 3:24pm, 10.6.24

slumped saturdazeeeee, 10.5.24

i woke up at 9:30am this morning. since then, i’ve got up to pee once and have been on my phone ever since. it’s 12:04pm right now. though it feels good to do nothing, i’ve got to do better.

(and more.)

(if i want out this 9-5)

-ratha, 12:08pm, 10.5.24