the magic of bagel, 10.4.24

i was looking at bagel tonight and it came to me how special he is. i’ve always thought that, but sometimes i’m reminded. it’s like when you’re in a relationship and you look at someone on a random tuesday night and fall in love all over again even though they’re not doing anything but existing. that’s what happened tonight with bagel. he’s been in my life 12 years come november. you can’t put a price on how special that is. you can’t measure how strong our bond is. i’m so thankful we were introduced to each other some years back, courtesy of the universe and God.

bagel truly is divine and he’s the reason i believe in so much as his presence is magic, truly.

-ratha, 7:32pm, 10.4.24

october in boston, 10.3.24

i walked around boston after work today. it was on the northend by the aquarium/wharf then to quincy market and faneuil hall. i’ve only been to quincy market once two years ago when boun and amelie were here. similar to today, i didn’t eat but i’d love to come back and try a few things. there was a store called christmas in boston and i thought of how romantic that name was and how good of a name it would be for a short story or a project of some short. i’ve been in the greater boston area for almost 4 years and i have yet to explore the city. i haven’t even been to the garden yet either. not td, but the public garden. i’d love to go, have a meal, and read when it gets warmer because fall is here.

i need to get out the house more and today was a good start.

-ratha, 8:11pm, 10.3.24

what if, 10.2.24

on the way home from work today, there was a car in front of me that had a license plate which read “what if.” when i see things like this, i take it as a sign from the universe or a sign from God. the thought of ‘what if’ will always resonate with me. perhaps it’s because i haven’t reached my goals yet or perhaps it’s because i tend to regret a lot. not things i’ve done, moreso things i haven’t had the courage to do. i don’t know how to explain it, but 'what if’ is always a sign from a higher power.

but what if i’m just crazy..

-ratha, 5:24pm, 10.2.24

welcome october, 10.1.24

to the best month of the year, we’ve made it back.

-ratha, 8:40am, 10.1.24

new england clam chowder, 9.30.24

after wandering around newbury at the shops and boutiques, we headed to the reel house to meet schuni for his birthday. 30 on the 30th is special. happy gday to my brother. we ate, laughed, and celebrated his birthday. he was supposed to go skydiving earlier today, but it got cancelled. it’s ironic because chan was in ohio this past weekend to skydive and his session also got cancelled. one thing to note about tonight was when i ordered the clam chowder, they had corn in it. i’ve never had clam chowder with corn, but it was fire. this bowl was pretty good, but none still beats alberto’s ristorante at the cape. come to think of it, i gotta go back now that it’s fall.

just have to plan things out.

-ratha, 10:03pm, 9.30.24

enjoying movies, 9.29.24

with everything that transpired within the last year, i found it hard to enjoy the things i typically enjoy. i didn’t even watch football towards the end of last year. i had the games on as the sundays passed, but my mind was elsewhere. i couldn’t even enjoy it. same with podcasts, television shows, and movies. it’s been like that up until a few days ago. i redownloaded netflix and i watched the movie life with martin lawrence and eddie murphy. at first, i put it on to have in the background. 20 minute pass and i find myself watching the movie, engaged and enjoying it. that’s when it hit me that things are getting back to where they should be. it’s been a long journey, but it feels good. i don’t know if good is an accurate term, but i guess relieving would be more of what i’m trying to say.

with my new netflix subscription, i think i’ll finally finish breaking bad.
something i never got to do last winter.

-ratha, 10:02pm, 9.29.24

bama and georgia, 9.28.24

bama and uga tonight was the best college football game i’ve ever witnessed. i wish uga would’ve won, but damn what a fucking game. i thought uga was dead in the water, but somehow, they mounted a comeback only to give up a 75 yard touchdown the first play after taking the lead smh.

fall is the best time of the year and football is a big part of it.

-ratha, 11:53pm, 9.28.24

fortunate epiphanies, 9.27.24

i was sitting in the doctor’s office filling out a survey. as i read the questions, i realized how fortunate i am. they had questions about how hard is it to pay for basics like food, housing, medical care, and heating? in the past 12 months was i worried about food running out before receiving money? was there a time during the past year i didn’t have a steady place to sleep? did lack of transportation keep me from getting medications? i answered “no” to all of them and it really made me feel lucky to answer in that way. it’s such a privilege to be fortunate and i’m guilty of taking it for granted at times. a lot of times, actually.

sometimes when i think life is hard, i’m reminded my worst days are but a dream for someone else, elsewhere.

-ratha, 3:44pm, 9.27.24

new phones, 9.26.24

i’m not the type to upgrade my phone often, but when i do, it’s usually a significant upgrade. having a new phone is kind of exciting to me. paritally due to technological advances and convenience, but it’s because it signifies a new beginning. i never transfer my contacts nor text messages nor photos nor videos. it’s a clean slate. whatever people, conversations, and memories left on my old phone are just that: old. a good indicator of how strong my relationship is with people is if their number goes from phone to phone to phone. luckily for me i’ve been blessed to have more than a handful of numbers travel through many phones with me over the years. i think e’s number has been in every phone since my first flip phone in 7th grade, which was a loooong time ago. fast forward to the present, when i got my 12, i had just moved to the new england area and was beginning a new chapter of my life. now with the 16, i’m excited to see what conversations will be had, what places i’ll travel and take pictures of, and what new numbers of significant people await

to a clean slate.

(and better battery life).

-ratha, 11:42pm, 9.26.24

submitted, 9.25.24

coming home lateee was submitted to dsp’s today.

i pray God gives us the opportunity to be great because this is feeling like the beginning of history.

-ratha, 10:03pm, 9.25.24