cleaning up, 10.29.23

i took some time during the colts vs new orleans game to reorganize the studio. i get so stressed when i’m in there because there’s just so much shit in there. i really need to downsize and reorganize. i have a trash bag or two to take to savers for donation. then i need to sell the rest of my sneakers because they are not doing anything for me at the moment. there are a few pairs i would love to keep, but the rest i can do without. by the end of the year i need to clear things out which will hopefully refresh the studio and allow me to feel not so cluttered.

sometimes i'ts not even about being organized, it’s really about having less.

-ratha, 3:21pm, 10.29.23

dressing up, 10.28.23

priyank hosted a halloween party. though i haven’t dressed up since i was 7, and though i don’t usually go out, it was incredibly fun. he had the decorations, the themed-plates, the food, and his playlist was fire. seeing his spot inspired me to get my own place. i don’t know if i want to pay the boston tax for renting, but having your own spot is priceless. i had trouble parallel parking so i called jennifer to help me out as there was a spot in front of her car. when she came out, she was dressed up as me lmaooooooooooo. alan had mentioned something about dressing up as me, but that caught me off guard. i’m still laughing about it because she had an orange carhartt beanie, crocs, nike elite socks, and had eye lashes for her (my) facial hair. shit had to be the funniest thing i’ve seen all year, definitely a legendary moment. oh and for my costume, i dressed up as heisenberg from breaking bad. i haven’t finished the show since netflix kicked me off my sister’s account, but i love walter white and his alter ego so i had to show love. also, that was an easy costume to pull off so that’s another reason, though that might have been the main reason lol. i’ve always loved spooky season and halloween, which makes me question why i haven’t partaken in the festivities for so long.

this year was different and next year will be, too.

-ratha, 11:52pm, 10.28.23

the dior slides, 10.27.23

there were some dior slides i’ve had my eye on since the beginning of summer. i’ve been needing some retail therapy, so i bought them earlier this week. i settled for standard shipping and they came within 2 days. they look incredible. i love the light grey color along with the jacquard. they were more comfortable than i remember them being in nyc when i tried them on in the soho store with obed. i think it was because i was wearing crocs the whole time and going from crocs to anything else will be a disappointment. they’re leather so it’ll take some time to break them in, but i’ll find a way even though it’s winter.

slide gang wassssssup.

-ratha, 5:21pm, 10.27.23

warm weeks, 10.26.23

it’s been abnormally warm lately. i’m kind of worried, but at the same time, i can’t say i’m not enjoying it. bagel and i have been taking advantage and going to the park every day that it’s above 60. slowly, but surely, these days will come to an end as daylight savings will be upon us within the next week or so.

until then, i’ll take what i can get.

-ratha, 7:32pm, 10.26.23

dressing up, 10.25.23

today, they are dressing up in costumes for halloween at the company. i didn’t find out until yesterday after lunch. to be honest, had i known earlier, i’m not sure i would’ve dressed up. i still have to think of what to go to priyank’s party on saturday as. peter pan was on my mind, but now that things have changed, i think i’ll just write 7969 on my shirt and come in a santa hat as the 7969 santa.

unless something else happens or i have a better idea, that’s the best i’ve got.

-ratha, 11:28am, 10.25.23

the new nike socks, 10.24.23

two things i will spend good money on are socks and underwear. growing up, i liked the nike elite socks because they were thicker and had cushioning. as time went on, the elite socks disappeared, and the new iterations have less cushioning. then, i found stance basketball socks. they don’t make them like they used to, so i had to move on. i moved on to volcom socks (which is random as ever) because i liked their quality when i came across them in tj maxx. they were the perfect sock to double up on. i’ve been wearing nba nike socks from 2020, and although they’ve been good, i’m finding myself wanting more. there are some socks on nike called ‘adv unicorn’. they’re $24 a pair, which is expensive af. i bought 5 pairs to try them out. the socks came in a few days ago and i’ve been wearing a pair every day. i really like the cushioning, but the way they weaved the sock at some points are questionable. just after one wear, the cotton is pilling/becoming shaggy. time will tell.

i’ll be disappointed if the quality isn’t there, but more disappointed that i’ll have to continue my search for a good pair of socks.

-ratha, 7:12pm, 10.24.23

grey matter, 10.23.23

my mom was cutting my hair tonight and i saw a lot of white/grey speckles on the apron. i was like it’s no way my hair is grey and that much. then my mom told me she had cut ta’s hair a few days earlier, then it all made sense but those few moments i saw all that grey had me nervous.

i know life goes by quick, but not that quick.
right??

-ratha, 9:45pm, 10.23.23

deep sunday cleans, 10.22.23

the best way to feel productive for me is to deep clean my room. i’ve been feeling in a rut, so that’s what i did today. i took everything off my dresser, wiped the surface, dusted my fan blades, did all my laundry, washed all my sheets and comforters, hung up clothes, and last but not least, i vacuumed. it felt good to reorganize and tidy up.

i need to do the same mentally, but i’m thinking that’ll take more than just a sunday afternoon.

-ratha, 5:21pm, 10.22.23

saturday nights, 10.21.23

i went to the mall because i thought it would clear my mind, but it did the opposite. when there’s too much going on, yet you’re not distracted, i guess that’s how you know it’s real, but is it real or is the feeling of real something of an illusion.

dissociation at its finest.

-ratha, 8:23pm, 10.21.23

the brightest laugh, 10.20.23

i came across a video on my ig explore. it was of a guy backing up his car, but the parking sensor was a song instead of frequent beeps. in the video, he laughs and i could’ve sworn it was dono. i sent it to the group, and dbaze said it sounds spot on. it sounds so farfetched, but it’s almost as if dono was visiting me, visiting us. perhaps communication between life and the afterlife is through protection, signs, and coincidences. i do wish i could talk to him, especially during times like this. there’s been a lot going on lately and not having him here makes it worse. i don’t want to sound selfish or sound like i’m questioning God, but it’s moments like this that make me think maybe life after all this isn’t so crazy after all.

-ratha, 12:31pm, 10.20.23