christmas '21, 12.25.21

this christmas is hella different from last year. last year at my place i had a tree up with presents wrapped with everything i bought since black friday. you gave me a list of 7 types of gifts we could exchange and honestly, that was one of the greatest ideas we’ve ever executed together. i had a terrible (but different) idea of waiting until dark to open our gifts. i thought it’d be dope because i hadn’t opened gifts at night and you hadn’t either. we woke up that morning and made holiday waffles, eggs, and ate while watching parades. the whole day went by so slow because of the anticipation of opening gifts. we did our annual tradition and ate at the river with the broken glass booths. we came home and opened gifts then ended the night with a movie. this year i woke up late and brought my mom and dad their gifts. i responded to texts/calls, then called chan. i opened gifts with bagel, then cleaned my room.

not a bad christmas at all!

still good, but still different than last year.

merry christmas if you’re reading this!

-ratha, 6:31pm, 12.25.21

late christmas wishes, 12.24.21

i was walking bagel earlier and i kept seeing white dots on my parka. i thought they were fuzzies so i ignored them, but when they became more abundant i realized it was snowing. it’s for sure below freezing here, but i didn’t expect to see snow. it’s been like 20 years since i’ve had a white christmas, so i’m wondering if it’s too late to ask for one? i guess it’s never too late to ask, but there are time restraints on the delivery.

it’s understandable, but one can only wish.

merry christmas eve!

-ratha, 4:08pm, 12.24.21

fantasy around the holidays, 12.23.21

man i remember why i quit playing fantasy years ago. this shit is skressful lmao. especially around the holidays. this goin be my last year for a minute, because i like enjoying my holidays and not caring about games that ain’t the chargers or colts lmfao.

wish me luck, i’m going for 2 championships!

-ratha, 8:54pm 12.23.21

going thru likes, 12.22.21

i wish twitter had an option to have original tweets and to scroll by month/date like flickr has when you upload photos. the reason i thought of this? i was missing dono so i went to his twitter page. i be scrolling through his tweets just reading them shits cracking up. then i went to his likes because him and i have the same humor. i spent an hour just scrolling and cracking tf up lmao. i remember when we would send each other some of the stuff we had seen on twitter/ig/facebook.

 miss dono like crazy, but on nights like this i miss his humor the most because i could always use some more laughter in my life.

-ratha, 9:34pm, 12.22.21

ducks in a row, 12.21.22

bought an antares and a protools subscription today. i’m setting up the stu in my sneaker room downstairs later on. i’m actually excited to record. i’m not sure if i’ve ever been excited to record, probably because i had a fear back then. the fact i’m excited means i’m letting go of my fear of failure, judgement, etc. tbh, it feels great.

let’s change the world.

-ratha, 5:13pm, 12.21.22

doing math again, 12.20.21

i had a lot of unanswered things on my mind so i hit you. we had a real conversation, which i appreciated it. theres others, but there’s not another. i don’t mean to be too ambiguous, but i wish i would’ve taken more time to actually live in the moment more during all our outings. moments pass and moments go, that’s why we have to be present. things are how they are in the now. often times i wait until moments leave me, then i’m left attempting to hold onto something that’s gone. that’s not your problem, that’s a me problem.

maybe the road ends here, perhaps it doesn’t, but that friday night at pressed was divine no doubt about it.

-ratha, 7:01pm, 12.20.21

class of 1975, 12.19.21

as i was checking out, the cashier said my total was $19.75. she goes on to mention that was the year she graduated high school. she made a joke about how old she was and laughed. as i handed her my card i told her she’s not old at all, in fact it’s all in the mind!! she laughed some more before wishing me a good night. i honestly love people like her. her energy was contagious. i drove home just laughing about the whole interaction.

1975 seems so long ago, but that’s only 18 years before i was born…

am i getting old?!

nah can’t be…

-ratha, 9:23pm, 12.19.21

meeting again with an old friend, 12.18.21

i would say it’s been a good 6 months since i’ve hit the elliptical. with the weather cold and the days short, it’s been hard to get outdoor cardio. bagel and will walk 1-1.5 miles, but i needa do something more vigorous. after finishing the draft for my year in review, i spent 40 minutes on the elliptical. i watched big sean’s appearance on drink champs, which was really good. i still have around 2 hours left, but i’ll catch up later. sean is definitely a cool, humble guy. the same as he was when we met. i’m hoping to cross paths with him again, maybe even do a song. i’m getting off track but getting back on the elliptical felt really good tonight.

i’ll have to start getting on it routinely now that winter is coming.

-ratha, 8:04pm, 12.18.21

working on change, 12.17.21

i’ve been writing my 2021 year in review and it feels good to get a lot of these emotions out. 2021 has been different for sure. i like it as uncomfortable as it feels at times. i’m learning to welcome change these days. i think it’s because i, myself, am changing. change isn’t convenient by any means, but it is needed.

i don’t know, just some thoughts on a friday night.

-ratha, 11:24pm, 12.17.21

bringing the camera out, 12.16.21

today i brought the camera back out for my december 2021 self-portrait. i think the last time i used my dslr was for bagel’s birthday in september. before that had to be my birthday in april. i haven’t been doing photography much so it felt good to get some shots in. i gotta get back to being myself and doing things i enjoy. the biggest issue is finding time.

not only is time of the essence, but it is the most important currency we will ever possess in this lifetime.

-ratha, 5:56pm, 12.16.21