lately, these days have become mundane. i know i still have things to figure out–a lot actually– but a change of pace here and there would be nice. i’m not a fan of going out, in fact, i’d rather travel, but it’s hard to find time. i always have something to do, or i’ll be too tired. there are times i feel inspired, times where i feel i can change the world, but overall i’ve been uninspired these past few years. it’s either make or break at this point. either i’m going to create the life i want for myself or i’ll fold under pressure into the depths of mediocrity. i have to have long talks with myself in silence at times. you have to realize you aren’t who you thought you were in order to grow into who you want to be. this isn’t as philosophical as it is fact. only time will tell if i’ll be who i said i’ll be, or if i’ll eventually end up folding.
because at the moment, this pressure is heavy with regret.
-ratha, 2:54pm, 8.12.19