something happened last night, 9.29.21

when i woke up, i had a missed call from your dad. i texted him that i’d hit him at lunch/later in the day. fast forward 30 minutes later, i’m on the way to the gym. he calls me twice, but i don’t pickup because i’m on the road. he sends an audio text message. i’m thinking because i told your dad i would get back to him, i would call him after the workout. during one of my last sets of bench, dbaze texted me. he said he just talked to “him” two days ago. idk why, but i thought he was talking about gabby petito’s boyfriend, which makes no sense because dbaze doesn’t know him, but that’s one of the things dbaze and i last talked about was how her bf was speculated to be somewhere in north carolina. then i thought about it more and i thought of you. i went back and listened to your dad’s audio message. i had to listen to it twice. everything around me became silent. life paused for a moment. i ran out and called your dad. he explained everything that happened. i sat on a bench in cambridge just people watching after we got off the phone. i looked up to the sky for some time before going back in. i couldn’t think all day, and i still don’t know what to make of things.

my heart is hurting, i love you forever my brother.

-ratha, 8:23pm, 9.29.21

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