being lucky, 11.15.23

first, chaz said something to me last night that stuck with me, then schuni said something today at lunch that resonated with me as well. it was me, him, and jennifer in a booth. jennifer says she’s beginning to feel old because she’s turning 25 in january. we compared it to a quarter/mid-life crisis. schuni asks me if i’ve ever went through something like that. i told him about my existential crisis in 2016/2017 after watching cosmos. then he said something that was so genius. after i told him that and anxiety changed the whole trajectory of my life, he said he considers it lucky if you go through something like that. that was a refreshing perspective, because it’s honest. it may not feel that way in the moment, but if you’re strong enough to persevere through those things and not let it define you, life on the other side can be something special. i don’t think i’ve persevered through these things like i would’ve wanted to, but i’m doing decent at staying afloat.

i gotta take more time to let what he said settle in, but maybe hearing schuni say that will lead me to define my life in other ways than the things i’ve experienced from anxiety.

-ratha, 8:17pm 11.15.23