the life i want, 6.18.24

there is a quote i read today that states ‘the time will pass anyway. you either spend it creating the life you want or spend it living the life you don’t want. the choice is yours.’ along this life it’s great to be reminded of the power we all have, the power of commitment behind decision. i think of all the possibilities there are in life, all the people i’ve yet to meet, all the people i’m going to love (and who will love me), all the places i’ve yet to see, and all of the memories i’ve yet to make and it gives me a feeling i can’t describe. i refuse to work a 9-5 for 35 more years only looking forward to three-day weekends, holidays, and pto. i just can’t. 9-5’s aren’t a bad thing, but they’re not my thing. i want my name in lights. i want people to sing along to my songs word for word, bar for bar. i want my songs to be a part of the soundtrack to people’s lives. i want my writing to make others feel like they aren’t alone during this human experience. i want a love that’s reciprocating. i want more for the people around me. i can go on and on, but that’s just a few things i want. i know it’s out there waiting for me on the other side of dedication, consistency, and risk.

sometimes i forget what an exciting opportunity every day is.

-ratha, 10:02pm, 6.18.24

the drought is here, 6.17.24

shall we start with the good news first or the bad news? the bad news is the celtics won another championship, which is bad in itself, but it also means the nba season is over, which means no sports until football in late august, smh. the good news is there will be a parade, probably on friday, and it’d be nice to have an excuse to get out of work.

celtics got 18 rings, lakers what are you doing??

-ratha, 11:02pm, 6.17.24

thank me later vibes, 6.16.24

since releasing fully loaded, someone told me they like the song, and it reminded them of thank me later drake vibes. it’s ironic because today is june 15th, which was the release date of thank me later in 2010. thank me later is one of my favorite drake albums, though nobody ever mentions it on their list in his discography. it still means a lot to me when people tell me they listen to my music and when they give me positive feedback. this was one of the comments that stuck with me because getting compared to a specific album i love by my favorite artist is one of the ultimate compliments. hopefully during this journey i can define my own sound and trailblaze my own path, but for now it’s been a great start thus far.

-ratha, 10:02pm, 6.16.24

newbury street pasta, 6.15.24

we stepped out tonight and ate italian outside on newbury street. again, i couldn’t read the pasta menu but i got the bolognese which was very good. they had a $10 lychee mocktail which was ass, but at least i tried it, right? we ordered truffle pizza with chicken and it was great, too. i think i would’ve preferred the typical tomato based sauce, but we’ll save that for next time. i think until september/october my new thing is eating outside in the city. gotta do it at least once a week, then go for dessert afterwards.

can’t go wrong with those plans, especially with weather like this.

-ratha, 11:02pm, 6.15.24

i just gotta be me, 6.14.24

i saw this vintage national geographic shirt on twitter about a month ago. it was a penguin walking away from a group of penguins with the caption “i just gotta be me.” i immediately went to ebay to search for it, but they didn’t have my size. i saved the search and got a notification last week. the shirt was 2xl. they had measurements, and although it was a little wide, i could work with it. it came in and it’s definitely one of my favorite shirts i own.

thinking back to what vivienne said, i’d say i did good.

oh and fully loaded on all platforms now!

-ratha, 7:01pm, 6.14.24

calls and texts, 6.13.24

at my planet fitness, they always have these daily polls written on a whiteboard by the welcome desk. i usually participate because participating in life is something i don’t do enough of. tonight, the poll was calls or texts? i’m a caller, myself. i can talk on the phone for hours and hours and hours. by the time i answered the poll, it was almost even. that took me by surprise because i feel that people don’t talk on the phone much anymore, but maybe i’m wrong?

it wouldn’t be the first time lmao.

-ratha, 7:17pm, 6.13.24

skunked, 6.12.24

i let bagel out around 12:10am this morning. as soon as he got out, he began chasing an animal. there are a lot of rabbits in the backyard, so i didn’t make anything of it. that is until he kept chasing the animal to the top of the yard. it was strange because he immediately stopped chasing and ran back down. as he passed the garden, he stopped to pee, but i noticed he kept trying to spit something up. my first thought was it wasn’t a bunny and that he got bit by a groundhog. he kept licking his lips and as he ran past me into the house, i smelled it on him. he tried to rub his face on some blankets. i got him out on the deck and that’s when i realized a skunk had sprayed him in his mouth. my mom woke up to check on us. the smell was so pungent. i called the 24/7 vet and they gave me a mixture to bathe bagel with. it was hydrogen peroxide, dawn dish soap, and baking soda. we quickly made that and bathed bagel. it helped a little, but the smell was so crazy. we ended up (trying) to sleep in the basement, but i kept waking up because the smell lingered. i ended up taking the day off today because i didn’t want the lab to go through it with me smelling how i was smelling and i needed to help my mom get the scent out the house. i ended up bathing bagel again, except this time with a deskunking shampoo. it worked for the most part, but bagel’s face still smells like skunk. he seems to be in good spirits otherwise. the plan was to hit the park afterwards so he could dry off even more, but when we went to ipswich, it began to rain lol. we still got our usual 2 rounds in. i came back to the house and though the aroma of skunk is still in the air, it’s definitely getting better.

that, or i’m getting used to it.

which i hope isn’t the case, smh.

-ratha, 6:11pm, 6.12.24

fully loaded artwork, 6.11.24

tonight, we shot the artwork for fully loaded, which drops this friday. this will be the last single before the project drops, which means we will have to start focusing more on the promotion from here on out. rap or music or art for that matter, isn’t really about content these days. in my opinion, it’s more of a marketing/promotion thing which ironically is the thing i struggle most with. i feel God blessed me with good people around me and gave me a little bit of creativity so i have faith we’ll figure it out.

i don’t know where to start so a bunch of trial and errors await me, but the hope is success is on the other side of these tribulations.

-ratha, 11:02pm, 6.11.24

fighting pollen, 6.10.24

does anyone know when pollen season ends? i don’t want to rush through summer, but damn, it’d be nice to have some relief.

-ratha, 10:22am, 6.10.24

waking up late (again), 6.9.24

this is my third weekend not getting good sleep/waking up late and it’s been catching up to me. i had my vocal lesson today, then i hit the park, then i hit the gym, then i got dinner, and by the time i got back it was 8:40pm. i still gotta hit the studio, update the running diary, and do a few things for rdl365. it may be a late night, though i need to get up early tomorrow.

i gotta fix my sleep schedule soon, smh.

-ratha, 10:35pm, 6.9.24