straying away from maya, 6.23.23

first off, happy gday to big bro today. we would’ve been celebrating, but he decided to come to boston and leave a week before, so i’ll have to catch him on the flipside next time i’m back home. tonight, for dinner we went to an indian joint we had last year in november. i remember it being good back then, so i thought it was a safe bet. the tikka was the worse tikka i’ve ever had. i was so disappointed. the thing is we ate takeout last time and this time we ate in the restaurant. you would think it’d be better dining in, but it wasn’t. maybe i caught them on an off-day, but this for sure was no way to curb my hunger for tikka.

as i walked to the parking lot i kept thinking maya would never do me like this.

-ratha, 8:11pm, 6.23.23

the titanic rescue, 6.22.23

i’ve been obsessed with this titanic submarine rescue effort. so pretty much, this company put together a 250k/person escapade to go and see the titanic shipwreck. they went on one this past weekend, but the tank lost connection on sunday. ever since then, the navy/authorities have been searching for them. supposedly, it’s estimated they lost oxygen today. that shit is so sad. i was hoping they were able to find them alive and well, but all signs point to the opposite. i could only imagine the pain they were going through and the suffering in their final days. they’re saying they found debris by the titanic, so now the theory is the tank might’ve exploded due to pressure from a catastrophic failure, but who knows.

i wonder what happened or where they are or if we will ever find out.

-ratha, 1:38pm, 6.22.23

first day of summer tragedies, 6.21.23

before work, i had to head to the post office to drop off a package. as i’m driving down central, i see a chipmunk from a few hundred feet away. as my car is approaching, the chipmunk runs to the side of the road then at the last second runs back towards the road. by this point, i can’t see him. i didn’t feel my car bump, so i didn’t think i hit him. to clear my conscious, i looked back in the rearview, and he’s laying there not moving. i felt so bad. i’ve never killed an animal before, at least to my knowledge. i ended up dropping the package off and heading to work. when i got to work, my dog alan came back from la and bought me a lakers shirt from staples center. he texted me what my shirt size was this past weekend, and though i told him to worry about having a good vacation, he still came through. it brightened by day until my drive home when i realized today was the first day of summer, which means from here on out every day gets a little shorter until the first day of winter in december.

i hate being aware sometimes.

-ratha, 6:24pm, 6.21.23

the missing lab coat, 6.20.23

i feel like somebody is trolling me in the lab. my lab coat has gone missing almost every single day for the past 2 weeks. on friday when it went missing, i grabbed a new one and told priyank about it. when i get there today, my lab coat is missing again. it has my charger, goggles, and all my markers. i gotta figure out who is doing it, because shits getting on my nerves lol.

-ratha, 2:57pm, 6.20.23

watching scenes, 6.20.23

i think netflix kicked me off my sister’s account, so i’ve been struggling finding things to watch. which is crazy because i have prime video, hulu, disney +, and paramount. i’ve been putting on run’s house in the background while i clean, hang up clothes, etc. i loved the show in middle school and even now that i’m older, his closure statements at the end of every episode resonate pretty well with me. i never caught on to it when i was younger, probably because i was too naive to think there was something to learn and appreciate about anything that happens to me in life. i also started watching couples retreat on prime video and it’s a typical 2000’s comedy. i used to love these types of movies and i still do, but these days i need something with a little bit more edge at times. movies like silence of the lambs, the godfather, and scarface were so grand they might’ve ruined movies for me. still though, there must be more things to watch.

we shall see.

-ratha, 12:31pm, 6.20.23

lat pull down commitments, 6.19.23

i went to the gym around 2:15pm today. i had the day off because of juneteenth. i noticed the gym was way busier than what i had expected it to be for an afternoon on a monday. i was waiting (which i never do) for the lat pulldown. it was an older man using it. he noticed me waiting, turned around, and asked if i was waiting on him. i told him i was, but i was in no rush and for him to take his time. he says he has 1 set left. he then goes on to mention how it’s so busy, especially for a monday afternoon. i agreed, then he brought up how most people probably have the day off for juneteenth. to be honest, it was a lot of younger people at the gym, too. he said he lives in reading, but comes here because it’s much more lowkey. the one in reading is much bigger and much more crowded. he says with the one here, he can see the whole gym from about anywhere in the gym. it helps because his wife has dementia, so he can keep his eye on her. i asked if she was here today and he said she wasn’t. they hire an assistant to help with her so he can get out the house some days and spend time on his own. though i have no idea how it is to love someone with dementia, no doubt it is hard and despite how difficult it could be at times and how much resentment could build up over time, i noticed when he spoke of his wife he never stopped smiling. he went back to finish his set and even asked me if i would like it to be wiped down. i declined and told him to have a good workout. i love speaking with older folks because they are always so kind and down to earth. he was kind enough to share that tidbit of his life with me and it resonated with a few things in my spirit currently. commitment is a beautiful thing and when you say your vows or even give someone your word, it should mean something. even on the bad days. even on the worst of days.

word really is bond and i wish more people understood that. 

-ratha, 6:15pm, 6.19.23

productive sundays, 6.18.23

today was supposed to be a significant day, but things happen for a reason. i guess. nonetheless, it was a productive day. i woke up, walked bagel. then i ran a mile. my time was 9:29, which is over a minute more than when i last ran. this is a wake-up call to get my diet and cardio up for sure. i stretched and massaged btg. i put 40 items up on mercari. i cleaned the basement because we have company coming over this week for ta’s ceremony next weekend. there’s supposedly 50 or so people coming over, so who knows how much space we’ll need. i cut my nails then vacuumed my room. i did some laundry. i read my 10 pages. i went to chipotle, then to target to buy a magic eraser. i cleaned 3 pairs of all-whites, my crocs, and my acg sandals. i walked bagel again. i ordered a new pair of white crocs and some croc slides. i’m telling you, this summer all i’m wearing is slides and sandals. i got white crocs, the croc slides, the yeezy foam runners, the acg trek slides, and i want to get the dior joints. now i’m writing. i think i’ll work on a song i started earlier this week at work.

btw happy father’s day to the goat!!

-ratha, 10:16pm, 6.18.23

wifi issues, 6.18.23

my parents are trying to replace the drapes in the living room before everyone comes over next weekend. my auntie is ironing the drapes while my parents are steaming the ones already replaced. they keep tripping the breaker and the internet keeps going out as i’m trying to update my blogs and put some things on mercari. i could’ve been done with what i had to do by now, but i haven’t even gotten started smh. it doesn’t help that the internet is so spotty. verizon used to be so good, but they’ve fallen off. one of my biggest hold backs in life is technological issues. when i’m in the studio, something always happens with protools. when i’m trying to get something done, the internet is always out. when i’m trying to send a message, there’s always no service.

as frustrating as it is, i gotta persevere.

-ratha, 2:57pm, 6.18.23

ribeye ratha, 6.17.23

hungry after the gym, i went to longhorns for a quick ribeye. it was too busy for a table for one, so i sat at the bar and ordered. the bartender told me because it was father’s day weekend and because the weather was shitty, that’s why the dining room was super-packed. i got the outlaw ribeye and instead of mac n cheese, i got steamed broccoli, which to my surprise was really good. i’ve always avoided broccoli and vegetables in general because a lot of places serve them al dente. i hate when it’s difficult to chew, but thats just my preference. the ribeye was good for what it was. it was no pellana’s or no ruth chris, but it’ll hold me down until i go next.

it’s been 30 minutes since i got home and all i can think of is those steamed broccoli. i might’ve found my new go-to side.

-ratha, 9:43pm, 6.17.23

the runaway spider, 6.16.23

i’ve been trying not to kill bugs for quite some time now. i saw a spider while cleaning my room. it further proved that we’re never more than 3 feet away from an arachnid, something that is widely-debunked, yet i find to be true ever since my college professor mentioned it in his lecture a few years back. i tried to catch it with my retainer box. i eventually was successful, so i put the retainer box on my dresser while i made my bed. afterwards, i went to walk bagel. when i opened the retainer box, there was no spider. he had somehow escaped through the two cracks in the back of the container smh. this means he’s most likely still somewhere in my room, which means never being more than 3 feet away from an arachnid is most definitely true.

especially for me.

-ratha, 4:26pm, 6.16.23