Two weeks ago around 2AM, I was reminiscing on freshman year with A$. He was sitting in the computer chair and I was on the ground perusing my old laptop, browsing through memories I no longer had a daily memory of. That one time Spencer was doing the Lil' B cooking dance while we were grilling out back on the patio of our town house. The time Malcolm got beat in a dance-off by a random guy in a bear costume during our Halloween weekend at ECU. Playing HORSE with Jimmy in Moore Hall. Walking down Historic St. Charles with my parents, back when they lived in Missouri. Really incredible times, hard to believe I’ve actually lived these moments. Life is too precious not to feel a sense of surrealness when reflecting on yours. Scrolling through photos of my formative days, I saw a number of people I haven’t seen nor thought about in years. I felt an immense sense of appreciation for our times together, even if it was only for the moment the picture was taken. You come across a countless number of people on this journey of life, and whether or not they stay, you will always be a part of their journey, and they will always be a part of yours, even if the part is as minuscule as minuscule can be. To me, that’s beautiful. Although nothing is excluded from the change dealt by time, not even time itself can change what it’s already written.  The pen of life continues to write endlessly, unforgivably. So it goes.

2016. I’m still learning things I should’ve known, but I guess that’s life, right? I stopped going to school this year, and I’m still getting used to things post-college. Conversations were held that I wish I could hold on to forever, but I can’t. I traveled out the country for the first time this year with people who I consider family, and it could not have been more humbling. I turned 23 this year and I stopped running away from the things I want because I feel I’m running out of time now more than ever. I used to attempt to label the years as they pass to better understand and give meaning to them through underlying themes and events. 2008, Pre-love. 2009, Love. 2010, Liberation. 2011, Transition. 2012, Adapting. 2013, Mental Redemption. 2014, Cuff. 2015, Rebuilding. 2016, Preparation.

Lately I’ve been donating to Go Fund Mes anonymously and going out to eat alone. I think things are changing. Either that, or I am. Perhaps both. I’ve always known that everybody has their own problems, but browsing Go Fund Me has shined a light on how lucky most of us are, myself included. It is true when they say other people have it worse. So much disease. So much death. So much hate in this world, I wonder if we’ll ever love again. I wish the humility and the compassion I feel at the moment on everybody. There is no better way to live happily than to help. Unfortunately, some people’s happiness is dependent on another’s unhappiness, which is a part of the digression us humans as whole still face today. I pray for change.

This girl I've known, she knew about my dog Bagel The God. She gets a puppy that looks identical to Bagel and names her dog Bagel. She gets Donkey of the Day for the rest of eternity.